Have you ever had one of those days....
...that begins when you find an exploded disposable diaper in your washing machine? and its remnants are in your washer, your dryer, the load of laundry, and all over the carpet?
...when the backyard hose bursts and creates a lake in your back yard because someone closed the release valve but forgot to turn off the spigot?
...that includes a super-quick trip to Costco that becomes the epic trip to Costco, courtesy of a wrong turn, construction, a dead-end, 34 samples, hiding children, a bathroom visit, a full cart of groceries, and a long line at the food court?
...where your fatigue is so mind-numbing that you can't sleep during nap time? but then you fall asleep for 15 minutes and wake up in a mad panic because you think you missed school pick-up? but really school pick-up isn't for 45 minutes? and then when school pick-up time comes, you have to wake two sleeping children to get in the car?
...when you realize at three p.m. that you have been wearing your shirt backwards for several hours?
...with dinner preparation that should have been simple but is ridiculously complicated by small children escaping the house, a baby strapped to your body, a precious stuffed dog in the washing machine, a seven-year-old's piano piece that for the love of PETE does not have that note in it, and a lack of bread crumbs that forces you to crush croutons with a meat tenderizer?
...that also makes your husband have a crazy day at work and causes him to be home much, much later than usual (i.e., after the elaborate dinner you prepared is consumed and strewn about the kitchen as though ravenous wolves have attacked it)?
Yeah, me neither. That kind of stuff only happens in sitcoms.