Today I finished the mending that has been sitting in the closet for...oh...a really long time. And since a really long time had to pass for me to get to it in the first place, and since the sewing machine then sat on the dining room table for three weeks, and since during that time a certain child destroyed my thread box and my bobbin box and messed up all the thread, and since the actual sewing process caused the spilling of root beer all over the floor (and me, and what I was sewing, and the table, and the scissors), and since sewing requires more brain cells and patience than I currently (or may ever) possess, I am taking a break.
What does that mean for you? Well, you need to stop ripping holes in the knees of your jeans and the inseams of your pants and the tails of your shirts and the feet of your pajamas. You need to stop pulling the snaps off your bibs and the buttons off your shirts. You need to stop earning scout badges. (OK, forget about that one.)
I have hired a professional seamstress to replace the zipper in Gavin's winter coat. I can't pay her to do all the basic stuff, but I have justified the zipper with the following logic. It's going to take several consecutive miracles for me to find time to properly wind and store all that thread (I seriously lack the time and mental capacity to purchase a new box, let alone deal with thread chaos), to pull out the sewing machine again, and to attempt to repair another ripped garment. I'd like to save this household's miracle quota for fitting into regular jeans.
So if you have some clothing that needs mending in the near future, you can either pay the zipper lady to fix it or write it off as a loss.
A retired (but mostly just tired) seamstress