Letters, part three

{Editor's note: There may be no end to my new-found need to communicate in this manner...}
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Dear Gavin,

Thank you for reminding me for the omnipresent need to employ the fridge lock. Constant Vigilance is a tough gig, but you continue to remind me that it is necessary.

Love you anyway,

Mom

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Dear Primary President/Fairy God Mother,

I found the boys' speaking parts in the van! I'm so glad I didn't call you and reveal my latest inadequacy as a parent. Unlike the blog world, you are mostly ignorant of these sad facts.

One of these days, I'm going to take you up on your offer to watch my kids again.

Sister Bartle

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Dear yard,

I am sorry you are so neglected. I never thought my house would bear the distinction of Ugliest Yard in the Neighborhood. When I mowed the lawn with Lexi on one hip today, I realized [again] that my life is not my own, and I don't spend much time doing the things I love.

Every year at this time I wonder if the next season will be better for the yard. Just a note: It's not looking good. My apologies.

With the best of intentions,

Brown thumb

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Dear Walmart,

I went back for $1.00 Crunch-n-Munch and you were OUT. Pfft.

Annoyed shopper

P.S. It took me 10 minutes to find the raisins.

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Dear Pull-ups,

I hope that you will take care of Gavin during nap time and at night. He refuses a diaper when he sleeps (and takes it off if I can wrestle it on). The results require the changing of sheets. Will your fanciness and price tag PLEASE prevent so much laundry?

Thanks much,

Management

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Dear Size 5 diapers,

I guess we're through. I'm mostly thrilled.

Management

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Dear General Conference,

I love you. Your twice-yearly broadcasts speak to my soul. I realize this is the point of your existence. I have learned to feast on your messages all year long. After all, I don't get much out of you while the kids are in the room.

This is why I recorded the afternoon session. I promise to watch you later when I can listen and take notes.

Yours truly,

Spiritually hungry

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Dear Garry,

Thank you for remembering the chicken nuggets even though they weren't on the list. Lunch just hasn't been the same for a while!

The pumpkin pie was another nice touch! You know how I adore pumpkin...

Heidi

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Dear WillMaker Plus 2010 software,

I kind of thought that buying you was the biggest step in writing a will. Turns out I was wrong. It's not a simple process at all. I think it is going to break my brain and require my attention during every nap time for the next three years. Nevertheless, I am hoping to help you fill the measure of your creation by the end of the month.

Sincerely,

The lady with nightmares about untimely death

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Dear Halloween,

Please help me convince Zachary to dress up as a Dr. Seuss character in your honor. He is preoccupied with creatures of a violent, ghoulish, bloody, and disturbing nature. I think he'd look much better as The Grinch. Plus, that would go better with the family theme.

Sincerely,

The mom who has figured out 3 of 4 costumes.

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Dear Pearl of Great Price study group,

You are easily the highlight of my week. I love having deep, meaningful conversations about the scriptures with women whom I greatly respect and admire. I learn new things, feel the Spirit, and come away a better person every time. Where have you been all my [adult] life?

Love,

A devoted learner

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Dear friends who have written letters like these,

You make me laugh! Oh, how I love (and need) to laugh!

Many thanks,

Heidi