Dear woman at the park,
What did you think of that little spectacle we created on the sidewalk? Wasn't that pleasant?
I'm sorry that my fast-as-lightning three-year-old got away from me, and that I had to yell across the park for him to come back to the van. Since you were so busy passing judgment, you probably didn't notice that I was trying to haul a very reluctant two-year-old, her scooter and helmet, five lunch bags and water bottles, a heavy purse, and my six-months-pregnant, half-crippled self to the same van. Since you know nothing about my wandering child, or about my extraordinary efforts to watch him and keep him safe, your little tirade about my failures as a parent was the last thing in the world I needed to hear today.
Did you know that it is situations like that and people like you that make me want to stay home with the doors and windows barred shut every day? Do you have any idea how much legitimate courage I had to muster this morning to take my family on a two-hour outing to that particular park? I try so very hard to do good things for my kids. I want them to enjoy the summer, to get exercise and sunshine, to play with other children, and to experience life outside of our home. But stinging words like yours make me realize how many people think I won't ever be able to do it right.
So I'm sorry that I yelled back at you. I don't usually do that to people who criticize me in public (trust me--you're not the first). I'm not proud of how I acted. But this mama bear had to roar. I'm trying too hard to have my efforts thrown in my face, especially by someone so completely unconnected with my life.
I hope you and your dog and your single child had a nice walk.
Sincerely,
A total stranger
15 comments:
I'm so glad you yelled back at her!
We were glad to have you at the park. If I would have noticed I would have come to your rescue!
GRRRRRRR...what a jerk-wad!
Heidi, you are AMAZING. Don't let a stranger and her totally ignorant comments shake you in the least.
It hurts! It creases and diminishes confidence and validation for all that you ARE doing!
I am sorry you had wounds inflicted on you today.
Hugs!
I was going to say something mean about that lady but I decided to just tell you that you are a GREAT Mother!
i'm so sorry heidi. that happened to me once too. and my mama bear instincts kicked into high gear too. i'm sure the rest of our stories part ways at this point though. i bet you raised your voice and made a point that was coherent, clear and righteous (even if yelled). in my story, the world went black and fuzzy, i lost my vision and the situation turned rated r. when my adrenalin bottomed out i was mortified. i didn't know i had that in me. it scared me. it also scared my husband who watched helplessly from the car.
shake it off, mama. you're a blessing to your kids and anyone who knows you, even remotely, knows that your are doing one heck of a job:)!
This story made me think about the story about President Kimball helping the young mother in the airport (http://tinyurl.com/69vglk7). What a difference kindness can make! I'm sorry there wasn't a President Kimball type figure to come to your rescue today! Hugs!
Oh, it bugs me when strangers criticize. I'm so sorry. I hope she learned her lesson.
go heidi!!!!
Good thing you have a blog to vent to and readers who can post comments to validate you with! I hope the venting helps you find relief and let it go. She's not worth another moment's thought. She doesn't have the faintest idea what your life is like or how hard you have to work to raise your growing family (and growing tummy!). I'm glad you yelled at her-- you didn't let her take your power from you! Keep up the good work, Heidi! You're awesome!
Oh, sheesh! That has happened to me on MORE than one occasion. Why can't people be more like my mom? Whenever she sees a flustered mom in public, she goes over and helps. She grabs a baby or talks sweetly to a toddler or helps load groceries or something. Let's pray that we all remember being a young mom, and just do our best to help others when we pass that torch along.
Honestly?! If I put the words down for that lady that are running through my head right now, this post would get flagged for inappropriate content! I can't believe that people go out of their way to make a difficult situation much worse instead of extending the hand of kindness and helping out. Keep going out, Heidi! You are a wonderful mama and I am glad she got a piece of your mind.
I add my vote of confidence in you to the rest. You are doing great! Use this as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, right? That's what I keep telling myself, anyway.
It was always when I was pregnant that I had the worst public experiences with my kids, in front of people who clearly believed I already had enough kids. Proud parenting moments, to be sure. I wish I'd been there. I wish I'd stepped up to help. Since I am far away, I will look for someone here who could use a hand instead of a cutting remark. Thanks for sharing!
Post a Comment