Dear Makers of Children's Motrin,
Why did you mess up in production and have to recall your products? I really, really like Motrin for teething, and so do Lexi's gums. I'm tired of generic Tylenol and look forward to paying full price when you are back on the shelves.
Sincerely,
Disgruntled Mother
...
Dear Hanes,
Next time you introduce a line of little boy underwear, would you please print the design of the cartoon character on the FRONT of each brief? My potty-training boy must wear all underwear backwards so he can admire Diego/Buzz/Spiderman while he sits on the toilet. His wedgies are driving me crazy.
Thank you,
A toddler mom
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Dear John M. Graham,
Two years later, we are still getting your mail. Some of it looks important. What's the deal?
Regards,
Current Resident
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Dear Grandpa in the Target parking lot,
No, I wasn't torturing my child. He just screams like that when he has to wear the safety strap in the shopping cart and when I put him in his car seat. For a minute, though, I was pretty sure you had sent the cop that pulled up behind me at the traffic light.
Warmest wishes,
Mother of the Year Finalist
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Dear First Grade Volunteer Coordinator,
Can the Littles come to the pumpkin patch field trip?
Please say yes.
Thanks much,
Tyler's Mom
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Dear Holly-not-in-Arizona,
Can you babysit tonight? Garry is working late and I have two visiting teaching appointments. It is the 28th and I can't reschedule for a third time. I'm guessing you can't check my blog (or even know it exists) from your high school class, so I'll just call your mom. K? K.
Sister Bartle
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Dear Garry,
Your drill is in the garage. I know you need to use it, but I can't look at it on the counter anymore. Thank you for the cabinet locks. They have improved my life immensely!
Love,
Heidi
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Dear Garbage Men,
It's a good thing you're so nice. My trash can was WAY too full this week. But if you could see the organized corner of the garage and the empty flower beds, you'd know why. I hope you don't charge me an excess fee.
Sincerely,
The lady who tips
P.S. Next week the can will be full of rotten apples and grass. Pump some iron before Monday.
...
Dear Blue's Clues DVD,
I really don't know where you came from, but Gavin loves you. So does Lexi, which is amazing. You are not long enough, but Gavin knows how to hit "Play All" when the menu comes back on.
Hugs and kisses,
A woman who is getting something done while her children vegetate
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Dear Yo Gabba Gabba,
You have been replaced.
With respect,
A Foofa look-a-like
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Dear Colorado,
It is officially Fall. Will you cool off a bit? Lexi has outgrown her summer clothes but it is too hot for long sleeves. Also, I don't want to water my lawn anymore.
Much love,
Me
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Dear House,
Did a tornado hit while I was sleeping last night? Surely that's the only way that our belongings could be strewn about in such a manner. I really do love you, dear house, but I have many interests besides keeping you clean! Sorry if you feel neglected.
Much love,
Your owner
14 comments:
You are hysterical. Wish I could come babysit for you. Sad face.
Awesome!!
If you're looking for a petition-type situation, I would sign most of those!
Thanks for the laugh!
Becky
I was looking for the "like" button but realized this isn't facebook.
My Davin also likes to wear his underwear backwards sometimes to see the super heroes or Diego on them.
Dear Heidi.
I am glad I have such a friend as you.
I think the tornado came through my house too.
I hate Yo Gabba Gabba, and am very fond of blues clues.
I also frequently stuff my garbage can to overflowing.
There is a cop who lives next door to us. I'm sometimes afraid he hears me yelling..
Love,
Your friend.
You are so witty! I really needed a laugh today.
Love these letters! Love them!
Love it!
Here here on the undies! Cal has always ONLY worn them with the pic on the front. How else is he supposed to tell if he's wearing Mater or McQueen? Those are important things to know in the life of a 3 year old!
Such a fun blog entry! I can relate to pretty much every one you wrote. Hang in there!
These are included in the "best" comment for the second (or first as I read it) post.
I hear you on the Motrin issue but I figure out the conversion for children's motrin. The infant is more concentrated so you need about twice the amount of children's to equal the amount in infant. For example - our baby needs 1.25 ml or 1/2 tsp of infant. We give 1 tsp of childrens or 2.5 ml of childrens. Does this make sense. I'd double check the concentrations on the children's though just to be sure it's 2:1 ratio. Really helps with the teething let me tell you!
Ha ha ha! Adorable Heidi!
Consider Yo Gabba Gabba to have gotten the message. We'll have to try to change your mind. ;)
In support and admiration,
Your sister-in-law's sister.
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