Dearest Kate,
I found out at the doctor's office this morning that you are starving. In the last month you didn't even gain a pound. You're almost ten weeks old and only weigh 8 pounds, 5 ounces. I knew you were little, but I actually gasped when I saw the reading on the scale. I even asked the nurse to weigh you again. The same numbers stared back. Not even a pound in a month. That's bad, little girl!
I guess I'm so busy with everything going on at our house that I didn't pay enough attention to your growth. You're so content, and besides your weight, your developmental benchmarks are right on track. You can hold up your head, move your arms and legs, and smile all the time. You are awake more often and sleeping well at night. In my estimation, your nursing has been great from the start. It really never occurred to me that you were hungry.
But apparently my notion of the status quo is way off kilter. You're falling off the growth charts. You aren't getting enough calories. Your improved sleep has likely come because you're too exhausted to do anything else. Your doctor couldn't have been nicer about the whole thing, but I'm pretty devastated that I've let you down...and that I've been totally ignorant of the shortfall.
It turns out all my excitement for giving you a bottle has turned into a prescription. You are supposed to take a bottle after every nursing session in order to boost your calorie intake. You need to gain weight; you need to catch up. I'm not sure how we'll manage the new regimen. It will require a lot more time and effort! But I look forward to watching you grow...
Love,
Mama
10 comments:
Oh sweet baby girl. I'm sure it's not because of any fault of yours, so don't take the guilt. You are a fantastic mom, who juggles everything with amazement.
Carson was the same way when he was a baby (now 3) He only got on the weight charts once in his first year and it was only 2% He is still really small, but he eats like crazy! Jackson on the other hand does not have that same problem! He is growing big fast! He will be 3 months in a few days and is already in 3-6 month clothes because he's really long! Do they want you to supplement with formula or have you pump and feed her that way??
Don't be too hard on yourself! I actually think that's more common than you might imagine. Whitney (my #2) lost nearly a pound between her 4-6 mo. appointments. I felt HORRIBLE. And when I look at pics now, it is so obvious to me. I tried to nurse and do formula, but found it too much for me--so I switched to only formula after about a week. (And I am stubborn about breastfeeding my kids.) So far, she's fine. :) On the good news side, perhaps she will be less fussy in the coming days?
Oh my goodness! How strange! You've never had any problems with the other kids! Hrm. Well, hoping things get back on the right track soon, and let me know if there is anything I can answer for you. <3
Oh, sweet Kate! Eat up little girl!
Did your doctor suggest adding formula to your pumped breast milk? That is what we had to do with Dal, to give it more calories. Regular breastmilk has 20 calories/ounce, but we added formula to make it 27 calories/ounce. I know that seems miniscule, but you might ask about it.
:( that is rough!
This happened to me with my youngest. I think he was around 3 or 4 months when I took him in and he had actually lost weight. I know he was little enough that it wasn't time to start solid food yet. Anyway, I felt awful and I cried right there in front of the doctor. I felt like a horrible mother and complete failure but looking back, I think that with three other children to take care of I don't think my body was doing it's job and giving little Daniel what he needed to grow. We started supplementing with formula. He was a good nurser for awhile but he kind of weened himself four months earier than all the other boys did. That made me sad too, but now he is four and I can honestly say that I think those early struggles had absolutely no long term effect. Hang in there. Lots of people are thinking or you and baby Kate and praying for you both.
Like so many of your friends I've walked this road and I totally know exactly how you feel! Luke didn't drop until after he was weaned, but it was that same feeling of "what did I miss?!" You are such a fantastic mom, Heidi and Kate will be busting out of those newborn clothes in no time!
She's a precious little dollie and she will grow. If she were that hungry she would probably be fussier. I know you'll start filling her with more calories and she'll be fine. How would you know anyway? She's just a petite little girl. Don't feel guilty.
Good luck with the feeding Heidi! It can be so stressful when they aren't gaining weight. Sometimes we forget that eating is really hard work for newborns! They are trying to coordinate breathing, sucking and swallowing all at the same time. Hope everything gets better soon!!
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