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Feb 23, 2011

Hospital letters

Dear Memorial Health guest network,

I love having free internet access in my hospital room, especially because the internet on my phone doesn't work in the hospital.

Thanks for making my stay more pleasant.

The Patient

...

Dear ER Nurse,

Sorry I cried while you poked me today. It's not your fault. I know you're the "best stick" on shift in the whole hospital and I'm glad to have you (even if it took you two pokes to get a viable IV). I just want to DRINK my water, thankyouverymuch.

Shamefully,

The frustrated baby

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Dear body,

I just want to DRINK my water. Oh, and eat my food. And keep it. K? K.

Hugs and kisses,

Yourself

...

Dear Enterobacter,

You are the ugly specimen that has invaded my bloodstream. I don't appreciate your infectious ways. I'm popping Keflex (orally!) and sending you packing. Don't come back. Ever.

EVER.

Good riddance,

Your unwitting and disgusted host

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Dear Ilya,

Although your thick accent made it hard for us to communicate last night, I am very glad for the ultrasound you performed. I was grateful to see the Little Miss/Mister stretching and waving tiny appendages and showing off his/her brain and beating heart. I don't understand most of what we saw or what you were doing on your screen, but I saw what I needed to see. And since you couldn't say anything of value to me, I'm glad my OB cleared everything up this morning.

Still smiling,

The lady from the third floor

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Dear Wells Fargo Credit Admin Team, Cindy, and Granny,

Thank you for the flowers. They have really brightened my hospital room.

Appreciately,

Garry's wife/ward member/your daughter

P.S. Whenever I say, "Thank you for the flowers," I picture that scene in You've Got Mail when Meg Ryan is wearing pajamas and a trench coat...

...

Dear Angieinpink and Granny,

I love all of my new pajamas. All! It is so refreshing and uplifting to put on fresh, cute pajamas instead of a depressing hospital gown (or my own lame pajamas) every morning. And it makes me happy to think of you shopping together on my behalf. Thank you!

Love,

Heidi-o

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Dear family members,

Thank you for fasting for me today. I feel so loved and supported. And I know that your united faith and prayers are a much stronger force for good than my own. I am sure that when the time is right, the tide will turn. I just really hope today is the day.

I love you,

Heidi

...

Dear Baby,

For the first time last night, I imagined us cuddling together after we get through this yucky ordeal. Actually, I pictured the day you are blessed at church. When will that be? I like thinking about that day...and what a blessed day that will be. I'm having a hard time waiting. Can we get to the good part? I'd like to enjoy you on the inside for a good long time. Let's get started.

Love,

Mama
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