Feb 8, 2011

Focusing on the good things

As the days drag on in our "new normal" way of life, I'm having some clarity on priorities and needs and stuff. This sometimes involves crying. Note to self: buy tissues.

It's not all bad, of course. I have a new IV in a better place on my arm. I'm getting a bigger dose of Zofran. I kept solids down twice today. And it really helps that I love Shelly, the nurse who comes to my house. While I don't want to be sick enough that she needs to come every day, I really enjoy her company.

Also, my ward is providing some great service. The most helpful part is that some lovely lady picks up Gavin and Lexi for three hours every morning. So far, the Littles think it is a grand adventure. And today, the kind soul who signed up for the Littles took all four kids because school was canceled for weather. What a giant blessing.

Someone will bring the boys home from school every day, and a few times a week, someone else will come over in the afternoons to help with housework like laundry, dishes, and vacuuming. The cleaning lady (who I know and love) came for the first time today. Her job is bathrooms and the giant wood floor (most of my main level). Having those things spruced once a week will make a huge difference.

Garry has stepped up in a big way. He is the real reason we are surviving. From the minute he gets home at night to the minute he leaves for work in the morning, he is organizing and feeding and cleaning and playing with the kids. I don't know where we'd be without him. I emailed Zach and Tyler's teachers this week to let them know what is going on at our house. Several of them replied with pledges of support, as well.

The most challenging part of the day is the segment between nap time and bed time. These are the "witching hours" when I'm perfectly healthy, so it's not surprising that they are completely impossible when I have tubes coming out of my arm and gut, an IV pole to contend with, and constant nausea and headaches. The last two afternoons just about did me in. So I am exploring the option of hiring someone to help for a couple of hours each day after school to bridge the gap until dinner time. We'll see.

My nurse suggested that I find some mental coping strategies to help me stay focused on the positive things in life. She suggested taking a walk every day, to let the sun shine on my face. I haven't done that particular thing yet, since venturing out in the single-digit weather and four inches of snow with my IV pole doesn't sound very fun. But I have done one thing that makes me happy: I decorated a wall.

This is a work in progress, with motivational thoughts and scriptures that uplift and encourage. I hung photos of my newborns to help me remember that the end really will come, and that it will be happy. I am just 11 weeks along (199 days to go...), so the road ahead seems daunting. But good things are happening, so I am trying to stay positive.
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