May 7, 2009

If I don’t go into labor, at least the house will be clean.

People warned me that this would happen, but I didn’t believe.

I spent the entire month of April living in fear that if I got out of bed, the baby would come early and I’d have to live with guilt and a sick infant. So in bed I stayed, believing that once I hopped back out, the baby would come and a proverbial pat on the back would be mine.

It’s only been five days. This I know. But come on, little girl! I had more contractions six weeks ago than I’m having now! What’s it gonna take?

So today, in an attempt to make myself feel like I have ANY control over the situation (I’m fully aware that I do not), I made myself a list. If I get to the end of it without launching into labor, at least some of the undone chores that have been bothering me for a month will be done.

Finishing two or three things on this list ought to feel like an accomplishment, but really, the last one is the most important one to me.

The list:

Clean windows [check]

Wipe down inside of fridge [check]

Sweep and mop floor [check]

Touch up bathrooms [check]

Go grocery shopping [check]

Sweep garage [check]

Fix black pants [check]

De-clutter office [check]

Dust bedroom furniture [check]

Put away “transfer basket” items [check]

Iron Tyler's church pants [check]

Sweep off front porch [check]

Almost finish The Holy Secret [check]

Take a short nap [check] and wish it was a long one [check]

Watch Neighborhood Animals with Gavin [check]

Field half a dozen "Are you STILL pregnant?" questions at preschool pick-up [check]

Vacuum upstairs, downstairs, and the stairs [check]

Reheat leftovers for dinner [check]

Deliver a baby

6:00 p.m. post script:

Still no baby. Hardly a contraction, in fact. The house is very clean and my feet are very sore. Humph.

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