This evening over dinner Garry and I had a discussion about where Baby 5 would live when he or she arrives. One of us has been thinking about this for a while, and one of us thought about it today for the first time. Of course, the two of us had radically different notions and a meeting of the minds has not yet taken place.
When Lexi was in utero, we used the Normal Mormon Husband to mediate a naming disagreement. That was a mostly silly experience and didn't help at all (although the poll winner is still my very favorite), but I thought of him tonight when Garry and I were deadlocked over the allocation of real estate in our home. Mind you, we only talked about it for ten minutes, and this is a good-natured deadlock, and we really don't have to decide right away. So I'm turning to you. Here is the background.
We have a five-bedroom house. Garry and I obviously share one room, which is on the main floor of our ranch-style abode. Lexi is next to us in a 9'x10' pink and girlified room. Next to her is another small bedroom, which we use as a home office (picture computer, printers, filing cabinet, desk, etc). Downstairs we have a large family room and two bigger bedrooms. Tyler and Gavin share one, and Zachary has a room to himself. This arrangement, which we have had for about a year and a half, has worked swimmingly. I am quite content.
With the arrival of Baby 5, we have a few options. Having the baby in our room is NOT an option. Let's just get that out of the way.
Option A: Move Lexi downstairs to share with Gavin. Move Tyler in with Zach. Give Lexi's room to Baby. Keep the office intact.
Option B: Move Gavin into Zach's room and have Lexi share with Tyler. Give Lexi's room to Baby. Keep the office intact.
Option C: Move Zach into Gavin and Tyler's room (we can re-bunk T & G's beds and easily fit another twin bed). Move Lexi into Zach's old room. Give Lexi's room to Baby. Keep the office intact.
Option D: Move office stuff to the family room downstairs. Possibly buy new furniture to accommodate the change. Keep all children in current living arrangements. Give Baby the bedroom-formerly-known-as-office.
So there you have it. This is a very silly, superficial, non-problem, but I hope you'll indulge me with your opinions. We are spoiled with lots of space in our house; the trouble is allocating it to our greatest advantage. Some questions we've been mulling over include:
*Does it matter if different genders share a room?
*If personality and/or age conflicts currently exist, will they be improved or worsened by the sharing of bedrooms?
*Is it more important to have a dedicated office or a bedroom just for the baby?
*Will our decisions be swayed when we know the baby's gender next week?
Please let me know what you think we should do by leaving me a comment! I'd love to know which option sounds best, but more importantly, WHY it sounds best. I'm sure we haven't considered every angle. Thanks for your input!
23 comments:
At our house Caitlyn (8) shares with Alison (1). Nathan has his own room. lifestyles have to accomodate napping babies and an earlier bedtime for Alison than Caitlyn.
I grew up in a house that had 4 boys in one room. Your downstairs rooms are big enough for 3 boys. Move the office back downstairs and have Lexi and Baby in their own rooms upstairs.
in summary: Zachary, Tyler and Gavin in one room downstairs, Lexi by herself upstairs and Baby in his own room upstairs. You do not want that baby far away for middle of the night maintenance. Office downstairs. Does that fit one of your options?
I say option D. Or..wait to see if you are having a girl and she and Lexi can share rooms.
Option D
Hm. After briefly perusing the options, I'd say A or D, but I'd lean toward D, at least for a while. Move what office furniture you need to and keep the baby in that room until he or she is sleeping through the night/old enough to share a room. Then make moving arrangements depending on the gender and you can get your office space back. Does that make sense? That's what my sleep-deprived brain thinks, anyways.
I mixed genders, out of necessity. It would sure help if you had an older girl who could 'mother' one of the littles. I wouldn't combine kids who already frequently disagree. Could you move the office to an open area? Or would equipment get destroyed? I vote D.
i vote D....although chad's idea makes sense too.
i just combined my girls [on a whim] & made our third bedroom a playroom with ALL the toys in one area.
it's so hard to know what will work until you try it. hmmmmm.
We have discussed a fairly similar situation as a possibility as our family grows. Your option D is pretty much the conclusion we came to, but mostly because we feel it's important to keep the family computer in a well-used, public place in our home.
I say whatever you do, try to keep the baby either by him or herself or with a sibling who is a heavy sleeper, or atleast can go back to sleep easily. It's so annoying to have the whole family awake in the middle of the night.
You don't know who I am- we've never met. In fact, I'm not sure which friend posted a link to your blog, but I've followed you for a little bit. You are my type of mom.
I say mixing genders is no problem in a room when they're little (under 8? 10? You choose the cut-off age). My 3 year old boy and 1 year old girl share and probably will for a few more years. Baby 3 is on the way (but no one knows) and my dilemna is: when is too young to move them downstairs? Do I put both brother and sister in the same room on the main floor so they have company or keep sister upstairs with brother since she'll still be under 2 when baby comes. Do I move her at 2 1/2? (How old is Lexi again?) (If you're wondering- the nursury comes OFF our room- no other access- so both kiddos are in there now). Happy discussing!! I've found husbands and wives have VASTLY different opinions on these things.
This is always so hard! And you have a lot more variables/options. My priorities for room sharing are as follows:
1. sleep requirements (ie group kiddos according to who is waking at night and/or needing naps)
2. age/personality compatibility (separate kids who fight more when together)
Gender doesn't even enter the equation for me except as a luxury. I wouldn't think it would be a problem unless it's a problem, you know? Devlin and Eve shared a room until about a year ago, and we split them not over gender but because it was just too much squabbling for me!
I've never tried a baby sharing a room, but I think it could definitely work with an older child who is a good sleeper. However, in your house, you need the baby upstairs with you and those rooms aren't big enough to share, so that's that.
If you think the boys can get along and not drive you bonkers, I vote for putting the office back downstairs, all three boys in one room, Lexi and Baby in separate rooms upstairs. Then later you can shuffle again based on genders/personalities/sleep needs/ages.
Of course, this is with *my* family's "office" situation in mind, which involves David working from home a lot. If your boys are using the office computer, then you might not want the office downstairs with a door!
(Wow, maybe I should be getting paid by the word here.)
Short version: If you want the office enclosed, move it back downstairs, boys all in the other downstairs bedroom, Lexi and Baby each in a room upstairs.
If you want the computer in the open, then Option D.
(For what it's worth, in the "short version" paragraph, I first typed "each girl in a room upstairs". What does it mean?!)
perhaps i'm out-voted but i say C. It seems best to me. We moved crayton (10) and crue(3) together. It is fine. Not ideal but fine. girls are messy. I'd say let her have her own space. yep, c. definitely c. and how fun to share a room with all of your brothers. it's how the duggars do it, you know...
I would say D, especially if your kids are using the computer in that room. You know what they day, it is better to have it in a open room where other people may be.
But I am sure that the three boys would be fine a room with Lexi next to them. Still my vote is D
I also like option D. Mainly to have the computer in an open room.
I had all three kids in one room for about 1 1/2 years. Gender isn't an issue at that young of an age.
Good luck!
We have our office in an open family room-mostly to monitor what is going on on the computer. All of our kids have their own rooms, which wasn't my plan, but it just worked that way. The girls like to sleep together every night anyway, so if your room is big enough, I don't see a problem with having three kids in a room.
i say d. least amount of disrupt in sleeping schedules, who doesn't love going shopping for new furniture and bonus that the computer is out in a more public space for when/if (lol) your kids are ever on it. Then once you don't have a baby waking up every hour of the night maybe you can rearrange accordingly and possibly get your office back.
Although it is hard to think-i'm still thinking about that 5 bedrooms thing-love it! one day!!!
Ok, I skimmed the post and didn't read a single comment, so forgive me if this has been covered, but I do have an experience to share that may be helpful.
In our current "downsized" estate of 2 bedrooms... The current arrangements are we have a room, and the three kids have a room. Pretty crappy, I know. 7 year old boy, 5 year old girl, and 2 year old boy all in the same place. Pros are few, and cons are a few more, but it works. But it takes a system. Two kids can't go to sleep at the same time. Laws of the universe... Kai is the only one who has to be up early for School right now, so he goes first. Makayela hangs out with us for 20 minutes longer. As soon as Kai is snoring, in she goes. When we do that, it works pretty good. Carson hits the crib last.
As far as the gender concerns go, they just speak up when they need to change clothes or whatever, close the door and take care of it. The cons include that their room isn't a sanctuary from the other kids, there's no real place to take friends and play (so they use the living room for playtime), and it is hard to send somebody to their room, when they all live in the same place. Sometimes our bed becomes an alternate time out spot. Right now the room is equipped with two twin beds and a crib, but only because Carson has made no attempts yet to escape the wooden cell. Once he figures that out, that's a game changer.
I am working up plans to build a bunkbed for the older kids, with a trundle underneath for Carson. Hoping to start on that next month was the weather warms up. It will incorporate some storage, and free up a lot of floor space.
Oh yeah, and where are WE going to put baby #4? We don't know how much longer we'll be in this tiny abode, but for now, we've pretty much decided that he will live in our room for several reasons, one of which is that we think the positioning of our room relative to the family living in the basement will cut out more of the crying for them.
If you have an office, I'd preserve it. If you have concerns about stuffing 2 or 3 kids in a room, I'd ignore them. Pioneers put 10 kids on the kitchen floor to sleep at night, and they turned out alright :)
Good luck with it all!
PS - have you had your ultrasound yet? Maybe the reason you've been so ill lately is because you've got twins brewin' in there?? I'm just sayin'... This could be a bigger challenge than you thought? :)
Option D--keeping the computer in a public place is one of our priorities too, as other people have mentioned. And Mat's really bugged that our two youngest are going to be opposite gender and sharing a room, but we figure they'll be all right until we are in a position to get a bigger house--or to rearrange the current one accordingly, even if it means chopping up our lovely garage conversion. *sigh*
But if things have been working out just fine, personality-wise, with the current arrangement, by all means, keep your sanity and the kids who get along together!
I say, move the office downstairs.
D is my choice. You can always reshuffle the office later. Babies need their own room because of their ridiculous sleep schedules--this being for your sanity. ;) (when Cal was a newborn, he and Alex shared--in our old house. Nine times out of ten he ended up in the BATHROOM in his car seat because I was afraid his crying would wake up Alex! It was driving me crazy--so we moved. ;)
C would be my second choice, but you mentioned that the boys' current sleeping arrangements are working well, so maybe it's best not to rock that boat.
Overall, do whatever works best for YOUR sanity, sleep and well-being. I have found that focusing on that helps me to be my very best mama self. :)
Do lexi and Gavin take naps at the same time? Are they distracted by one another? I would go with B or D. But what about having Lexi share with baby? They would get use to eachother super fast. I always had my toddlers share with my babies. Good luck!
My choice has already been described to the letter so...this is so entertaining. Thanks for sharing!
Yes, I think your ideas will change drastically when you know if Baby is pink or blue. But, I agree with Shaina...I've almost always had a baby and a toddler in the same room, and it seems like they both adjust so quickly that they don't wake each other up.
I'd choose D, although I do appreciate having a designated space for office junk.
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