Facebook statusi

My blogging has been rather lackluster of late. It's fitting. Like everything else, I'm working on it! Baby steps to a normal life, right?

Sometimes I amuse myself by imagining what my kids would post as status updates on Facebook. Here are some possibilities:

Baby 5

...had a heart rate of 162 today, a glorious sound located on the first try.
...is apparently growing at a normal rate.
...was delivered at full-term in the hospital's triage room--in my dream the other night.
...will hopefully cooperate and reveal himself/herself at THE ultrasound on March 30.

Lexi
...is outgrowing all of her 18-months sized clothing.
...only naps an hour a day -- less than half the time her older brother does.
...has endured a miserable bout of constipation, coupled with a nasty cold and cough.
...wants to mimic Gavin in absolutely everything.

Gavin
...is being much more responsible about using the potty than he was last week.
...needs a haircut most desperately.
...could eat all the livelong day.
...believes that "no" is the universal response to any inquiry or command.

Tyler
...reports, more often than not, than he had an excellent day at school.
...is reading (and loving) "Ripley's Believe It or Not -- World's Strangest Creatures."
...has assumed the role of Boss of Everyone.
...plays best with the neighbor boys (all named Tyler) when Zach is not involved.

Zachary
...plays four-square with his own ball at recess every day.
...thinks that wearing pants of any kind is cruel and unusual punishment.
...sleeps with a teddy bear.
...loves pesto pasta more than any other dinner.

Heidi
...wore jeans today for the first time in six weeks--and they are looser than before!
...was diagnosed today with oral thrush (thank you, hardcore antibiotics).
...has begun preliminary work on her Women's Conference presentation.
...went to Target for the first time in six weeks--and it was the same as always!

Garry
...conquered a giant project at work on Tuesday.
...is the resident grocery shopper.
...makes bedtime so fun for the kids.
...likes to watch American Idol with Granny.

Granny
...is totally running our household--and doing a great job.
...bought the kids popcorn and new shirts today.
...is the best mother on the planet.
...is making my life so much easier and will be dearly missed next week.