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Jan 24, 2012

My brain just thinks in letters now

Dear Fitness Challenge 2012,

You were a really good idea and super motivating until the Dark Days of last week (aka Wednesday through Saturday).  I have lost all motivation for drinking water, eating vegetables, and avoiding sugar.  And guess what?  I weigh exactly the same today as I did on January 1.  Hmph.

The fat lady who's ready to sing

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Dear St. Patrick's Day 5K,

I was all stoked to run in your race, and had even convinced Garry to join me, but then I found out that Sheri Dew is speaking to the women of our stake at exactly the same time, so you lose.

Sorry.   But not.

Heidi

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Dear Hannah,

Remember last week, when I called the office where you work and the receptionist pulled you out of a meeting when I told her you hadn't called me back for eight days?  You told me that you had faxed a referral and my medical records to two different endocrinologists that morning.  I'm a sucker and believed you.  Well, the doc I want to see still doesn't have my paperwork, which means I still don't have an appointment, and I've lost another week waiting for nothing.  I promise your sense of urgency would skyrocket if you had my symptoms for 24 hours.

You said you'd fax my info again right away, but since the office manager at the new place didn't call me back today, I'm guessing that didn't happen.

Shall I visit your office tomorrow and stand over you with a pitch fork?

A disgruntled patient

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Dear Echo,

You have an interesting name.  I hope that one of these days I can see your name tag in person so I can properly thank you for repeatedly looking for my patient information in your system, when in fact it has not been there.  I pray daily that your endocrinology office is more efficient and accommodating than that of my dear OB/GYN.

Sincerely,

The squeaky wheel


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Dear Summer the PA,



Just for the record, I can't remember the last time I suspected my child had an ear infection, hauled that child to the doctor, and was proven wrong.  I'm glad for Kate to be spared pain in her ears, but couldn't help but be embarrassed that I took my fifth child in for a chest cold.

The embarrassment could also have stemmed from the shocking behavior exhibited by children three and four, but in their defense (and mine), it was nap time, and none of us had slept the night before.  Maybe next time we'll shoot for sunshine and roses when we visit.

Shamefully,

A humbled mama

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Dear Mrs. Reynolds,

You are one awesome TAG coordinator.  I love that you love my kids.  I love that you bend over backwards to accommodate them.  I love that you are rooting for Gavin to start kindergarten this fall.  I love that you and the district TAG lady discuss my kids all the time.  I think you're a big reason we didn't move to Arizona.  On days when I'm mad that the relocation didn't work out, thinking of you makes me smile.

Thanks for the call today,

Zach and Ty's mom

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Dear ARC,

Thanks for picking up my pile of junk today.  I love it when you call while I'm in the midst of a purging/de-cluttering project.  I don't have to haul stuff to Goodwill OR feel guilty about not supporting a charity solicitation.  Win-win.  I have to say, though, that I was a little sad to part with the ratty denim comforters.  Even though the boys have much nicer bed coverings these days, you hauled away a piece of my history today.  But I won't miss the 15-year-old measuring cups.

The donation lady

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Dear ward friends,

For some reason I agreed to be in charge of games at the upcoming "high school reunion" adult party.  I'm sure you're tired of me asking you to submit completed surveys about your high school experiences. Even though entering your answers into a spreadsheet is getting a little tedious, it's pretty fun to learn about your glory days.  And the Family Feud game will be awesome.  Just thinking about how awkward I was in high school makes my toes curl, but I am planning to wear my letter jacket to the party.  (Mesa Rabbits!  We are number one!)

Heidi Dixon, class of '96

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Dear neighbor to the right,

You could not have surprised me more when you knocked on the door the other day and announced that you were ready to pay for your portion of the fence we built last May.  Are you a tithing blessing?

Gratefully,

Your neighbor to the left

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Dear book club,

I'm so glad you chose to read The Count of Monte Cristo this month.  As much as I enjoyed the book (which is fiction!  I know!), the fact that Garry is listening to the audio version is even better.  Having Something In Common with my husband is quite revolutionary...and lovely!  Gretchen Rubin says couples should have one indoor activity and one outdoor activity that they like to do together.  I might die of happiness knowing that we've finally found one of the two!

Would it be too much to ask for you to figure out the other?

Love,

One happy wife
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