I am pretty sure I am failing as a mother and as a human being.
How is it that I have not been able to teach my children not to hit each other?
Or follow basic household rules? Or observe common courtesy, decency, and kindness?
Why is it that with the smallest provocation, the entire household erupts in screaming?
Why is a locked-door time-out the ONLY thing that resonates with Gavin?
Why is my happy, kind, regular voice completely inaudible to my children?
Why have my efforts to teach manners and decorum fallen on deaf ears?
Why, despite my best efforts, do I want to hide in my closet at the end of Every Single Day?
It's getting old, you know.
16 comments:
Today was one of those days for me as well. It's beyond frustrating, and I don't have any words of wisdom for you, other than to lock yourself in your room. That's what I do.
You are not failing, Heidi. You're kids are just learning the up's and down's of life. You are doing a fabulous job, and we love and appreciate you.
Sorry about the bad day... Hang in and hang on... Here's hoping for a great night's sleep and hitting the reset button.
I had to do a double take on your questions, because minus your kid's names, it sounded a lot like my life almost every day. But you're not failing!! I have to stop and remind myself that even though I've told my kids not to hit or what not a million times, Heavenly Father has also told us things we should/should not do many times, and we sometimes forget or act on impulse and do/don't do it anyways. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!!
Oh gosh, I just it submit on a post so much like this. HUGS. I couldn't possibly offer any words of wisdom since I'm in the exact same boat ("were you raised by wolves?" has been coming out of my mouth a lot lately) but you are wonderful and they are wonderful, down under there somewhere, and they will be wonderful all the time some day, and then you will have a big wonderful loving family to support you and bring you joy for your whole life.
It seems so irrational when you hear someone so amazing as you say that they are failing. it also seems so incredibly like my life right now that it's not even a little bit funny. hang in there mama:).
I sooooo remember those days. Be kind to yourself. You are not failing.
oh wow, I'm sorry you feel that way...but at the same time I am glad to see I am not the only one. Thank you for this blog 'cause it makes me feel more normal...as Kristy E.B. said, change the kids names and what you get is my life...
The child training years are hard but will pay off big time by the time they reach their teenage years. If you haven't read Shepharding a Child's Heart by Paul Tripp, you might find it helpful.
I'm sorry you're mired in one of those days. What's that quote? For mothers, the days are long but the years are short? Some days are so long they feel like a year. You're in the trenches right now, remember. Life doesn't get much exhausting than this. But that also means that you've got lots to look forward to.
I told someone recently that if a movie was ever done about my life, the soundtrack would be crying. That's all I hear all day long. Sometimes mine included.
I too often think I am failing. I wonder how my kids can be so disrespectful, and mean to each other. I get so tired of the whining and complaining. I don't have advice, just sympathy. I just keep praying that I am doing the right thing, and constantly try to do better.
I know you have good days too. I'm glad you record the best and the worst!
Is it any consolation that most of these comments are from mothers who feel exactly the same way? I think it must be pretty normal. Our mom's must have felt that way too, and we all turned out, didn't we? I like to think so, anyway. Hang in there, Heidi. We're all pulling for each other and we'll make it--somehow!
You are an AMAZING mother!
Believe it or not, I just read 5 posts previous to yours from other women/friends venting the exact same feelings! Obviously, you are not alone. We all feel like failures a lot. BUT, we are women dang it, and we are tough. God won't let us fail. Hang in there!
What can I say that hasn't been said? I agree with the others--you are a great mom; raising kids is hard work; I often feel all of the same inadequacies and frustrations that you expressed. I take comfort in something President Hinckley said in relation to raising children, "You have not failed as long as you have tried. Never forget that." Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to succeed too. He doesn't think you are a failure. You are doing your best and that is good enough. Hugs!
You aren't the only one. It doesn't make it easier or more fair. I ask the same questions of myself, out loud to my husband, and sometimes of my children often. I fear and feel the only skills and behaviors I successfully teach without even trying and by example are the ones motivated by frustration, exhaustion, and "failure".
Yet we both treasure FHE and daily scripture study and there are many who long ago gave up, so that's something.
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