Last night Garry and I were enjoying an episode of Wipeout around 10:00 when we heard a bizarre noise behind the couch. It sounded like a water hose aimed at the side of the house.
Wait a minute....
All at once I leaped over the couch and opened the boys' bedroom door, where I caught Zachary peeing on it. The noise and movement startled him, but it was obvious he was dead asleep. I ushered him to the bathroom where he could finish his business. It's a good thing I stayed to supervise, though; his next target was the garbage can! Once I was sure his aim was accurately trained on the toilet, I ran upstairs to get a can of Spot Shot for the carpet mess.
[Meanwhile, Garry was convulsing with laughter on the couch. Lest you judge him as completely useless, he had cleaned up about five rounds of Gavin puke (three of which got on Garry) earlier that night. It was definitely my turn to deal with bodily fluids.]
When I got back, Zach was wandering around the hall looking confused and Garry was laughing even harder. Garry had been telling Zach to flush the toilet and Zach just didn't get it. Apparently he went into the bathroom four times to do this little chore, but somehow the synapses misfired. Eventually I walked him into the bathroom, held his hand while he flushed, and guided him back to his bed. Silly boy.
There is also a footnote to this story. I fell asleep on the couch last night and made the mistake of leaving the can of Spot Shot by the boys' bedroom door when I stumbled up to bed. This morning Zachary emptied the aerosol can (it was probably 75% full) all over the place. He swears it was just on the carpet, but the entire basement reeks of the stuff.
Some day Zach's really going to be mad at me for publicizing this. I just need proof -- I don't make this stuff up!