For background, I'll just say that I'm homesick for my former life and neighborhood and friends. The reality of moving away has hit and I'm sad. It's not that I don't think a good life can be built here, but after a whopping two weeks, I'm not exactly calling my new digs "home." In fact, I can't seem to break the habit of dialing a 503 area code every time I pick up the phone. I take off my shoes every time I walk inside the house (a true Portlander habit). And last time I bought gas, I actually sat in the car and waited for an attendant to fill up my car. I felt a little sheepish when I remembered that pumping gas is my job now.
Some other things we're all getting used to:
- wearing sunscreen every day
- hydrating 24/7
- leaving the windows open to ventilate the house (no a/c!)
- using a gas-powered oven and stove
- having Albertson's be the best place to buy groceries
- waking up to the sun streaming in our window at 4:30 a.m.
- having different swimming lesson instructors
- hearing our voices reverberate off the wood floors and high ceilings upstairs
- finding a layer of yellow pine pollen on every surface imaginable
- paying sales tax
Now for the scripture that won't leave my brain.
The reference is found in the Book of Mormon. Alma chapter 26 verse 27 reads:
"Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success."
The scripture describes a group of missionaries who were called to preach among their enemies. They were discouraged and didn't want to go, but the Lord richly blessed them for their obedient efforts. The last few days I have definitely felt depressed, and I have wished to turn back the hands of time six months so that today I wouldn't feel so lonely and uprooted. But I have been comforted, too, as I have thought about how patience and success might work in my life the way it did for Ammon and his missionary companions.
Alma 26 concludes with a statement that I know, deep in my soul, is true today:
"Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth."
That's a wonderfully reassuring thought.
10 comments:
Aw, I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I've never moved away form the place I call "home" but I know I would be freaking out more than a little bit if I were you. I hope you feel more settled soon.
Don't forget that you felt inspired in your decision to move to Colorado. The times in my life when I wondered "What the $#!@ was I thinking??" (cough, grad school, cough) were often revealed as my choicest blessings. I made the hard choice, came out much stronger in the end, and inevitably realized that it was the best path to happiness I could have taken.
Even good and right choices aren't always the easiest ones. Hang in there and it will all come together. It took a long time to get to where you were in your old home, and it will take time where you are now. At least you didn't lay on your closet floor and cry a river like I did when we moved to Arizona! And now I can't imagine having made any other choice. This is getting long and lecture-ish. Know I'm thinking about you.
I have struggled with our latest move as well and we only moved a few miles. I know how hard it is to leave everything you know and love behind. Hopefully you will settle in soon and find things you love about that area.
Take this for what it's worth (coming from someone who loves change and goes after life-altering decisions like it's an ice cream truck), but it does get easier. Thank goodness for the church. I cannot imagine moving across the country without having that support system. Having a calling is also the best way to find friends and get acclimated.
As for the things you have to get used to, you'll be surprised how quickly you get used to the dry air. We almost never wear sunscreen unless we're going to be outside all day. I still take my shoes off inside. I love being able to cool off the house just by opening the windows at night. The early sunrise gets me up and going earlier in the morning, which I love. Albertsons has the best sales. But sales tax stinks. No help there.
Am I now an annoying ray of sunshine? Part of this is that I was so happy to leave Mississippi, that everything about Colorado was wonderful. I miss my friends back there terribly, but not much else. That makes for an easier transition.
I have that same scripture underlined in 3 colors in the scriptures I used in high school. It was a comfort both then and now for me as well.
I'm kind of in the opposite boat from where you are right now. We've been here for a year and are pretty comfortable in our little niche. But, my closest friends are all moving away. It's hard to make a social transition--let alone a climate, area, grocery store, etc. transition. I always give myself 6 months in a new place because of that.
I'm also anticipating our own move in about 6 months. (As long as Ryan stays on track to graduate then.) All of those things that you mentioned are concerns for me. I was incredibly impressed by your last post about scoping out the parks and working to get a play group together. I don't know that I would have ever thought to do that! I'll definitely stay tuned for more ideas and inspiration when my turn rolls around.
Girlfriend, I love ya. Homey feelings will come. This post was amazing. And you are amazing. I'm thinking of ya.
Heidi, When I left on my mission it was about week 3 of 8 in the MTC that I was having the same feelings. That SAME scripture was used in counsel to me and it was the start of a major change in mindset. Sometimes the challenges of the present eclipse the feelings and guidance received in the past, but you will be fine.
Good luck with the transitions.
"tad melancholy", that's funny.
Chad
Heidi m'dear. Aaaah....I feel your pain. After living in 4 different countries I really didn't think my move to South TX five years ago would be anything but fun and...well...pretty normal. I mean it was still in the continental 48! (barely) :) I was so dead wrong and came down with such a terrible case of homesickness I really thought I was going to have to move away to ever get rid of it. That sinking feeling in the tummy and the heavy heart are so real and physical, aren't they?!? I can finally say that this dirt is now my dirt (and, no, it didn't take 5 years) :) --so I have no doubt that with time you'll find the people, places, and quirks of your new stomping ground that will allow it to worm its way into your heart. It will come, I promise!
Stick with it Heidi! You will get the hang of it. If you are really down and want to eat your way out of it (Does anybody else do this?) go to the local Black Eye'd Pea. I LOVE that place, just eat all the cornbread and especially the wheat rolls, they are scrumptious!!!
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