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Nov 9, 2009

Finding my finish line

The last couple weeks have been...ah...thought-provoking. My thoughts have been filled with everything from serious issues to frivolous concerns, from spiritual highs to emotional lows, from sparkling amusement to jagged aggravation. I've learned a lot about myself.

As I've walked through the gauntlet in recent weeks, I've mostly settled on what's important, and I'm trying to align my actions with what I believe. In some cases, this process isn't too tough, but in others...boy howdy! I need a lot of motivation to change.

One such motivating experience arrived on Saturday evening as I drove home from a lovely couple of hours in Garden of the Gods. Garry and I took pictures of the kids for Christmas cards (you'll have to wait to see them), and at the last minute, I decided that he and I ought to join our offspring in the photos. I'm not crazy about the way I look right now, but I wanted to record the history of our family -- with all its members.

And that's exactly what happened. The photos captured a moment in time. As I scrolled through the photos on the camera as we drove home, I saw three rowdy boys, a darling little elf-girl, a handsome Daddy, and....who? Me? Was that really me? I was completely flabbergasted (emphasis on flab) at the smiling woman in those pictures.

That was a major turning point.

According to my scale, the Lexi pounds are still coming off. Apparently I'm only holding onto 9 of the 40 I packed on during my last pregnancy. I'm not really a believer, though, because my clothes are more awkward than ever. My four-kid figure is far more frumpy than I ever, ever, ever thought it would get. I'm only 30, for crying out loud! This is really quite pathetic. And I've been in denial for too long.

So.

I know you've heard my song before, but I am determined that this time it will ring true. Today I signed up on a little personal training website. I'm going to register for a 10K on January 9 (no matter how cold it is!). I'm already eating better and drinking more water and cutting out sweets.

Today is the first day of the new me. Maybe if lots of people know I'm back in the race, I'll have a better chance of getting to the finish line.
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