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Aug 6, 2008

What shall we do with the boo-hoo baby?

This question is also the title of a cute children's book in our home library. The farm animals in the story try everything they can think of to soothe a crying baby. They feed him, play with him, give him a bath, and finally -- mercifully -- they put him to bed.

I love the book's fun plot and simple illustrations. It's a great read-aloud story...a story that has become all too familiar lately. These animals try their best to make the baby happy, but the only result is a loud "BOO-HOO-HOO!" from the baby.

The last page is my favorite. Once the baby is asleep, the animals collapse in an exhausted heap on the floor...and the baby wakes up grinning.

Can anyone guess what's on my mind?

In case you can't, I'll tell you. Gavin MUST learn how to sleep.

I'm always surprised when I arrive at this stage with a baby, and yet somehow I always do. Again, I ask myself: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? How have I tolerated the sleep deficit for so many months? It must be my fault, after all, that my sweet little one only catnaps during the day and likes to eat, drink, and be merry {read:cranky} in the wee hours of the morning. I really did try to prevent this...but I guess our family life has been less than settled the last eight months.

What it boils down to is this: I have not slept through the night more than a handful of times in 16 months. I hit the third round of motherhood running on empty, not only because I didn't sleep at all the night Gavin was born, but for the eight months prior to that I had a ridiculous case of insomnia. These days I could sleep 24/7 but circumstances don't exactly allow for that.

Lest you think I'm just a selfish mommy who needs her beauty rest, there's also the matter of Gavin having dark circles under his eyes because he is so tired. He's cranky and clingy a lot of the time, most certainly because he only sleeps about 12 hours out of every 24, and only two of those hours are during the day time, and those two hours are generally had in 30- to 45-minute chunks. On no planet is this enough sleep for an eight-month-old.

I have known that the day of The Last Straw would come eventually, and that I would buckle down and teach Gavin a thing or two about sleeping habits. But as jaded and calloused and matter-of-fact as the previous paragraphs sound, I'm actually a big pushover who doesn't like to hear her baby cry. However, the day of The Last Straw came today, courtesy of big brothers who kept interrupting naps, and I snapped.

Fortunately, the fatigue blurring my vision didn't erase the virtues of past experience. Sleep training with previous children was a bit of a chore, but I learned a few things about routine and comfort objects. The bottom line was still ugly: Gavin had to cry it out.

The first round, which happened before the morning nap, lasted 30 minutes. I visited him three times. When I told my mom about this, her sharp intake of breath told me that's probably a long time. But it's 1/6 the time it took Zachary to take a hint, so I was pretty pumped. Gavin still only slept half an hour, but he got to sleep on his own. Progress.

The afternoon nap was better. Gavin cried for 15 minutes, but not nearly as hard, and then slept for 45. The phone woke him up (curses!). Then, when it was time for bed at 7:30, we finished our story/song routine, I put him in his crib, tucked his blanky around him, and said good-night. Gavin whined a bit, but he didn't make a peep after I turned off the light and shut the door. Here I am, two hours later, enjoying the silence.

I'm not naive enough to believe that Gavin's sleeping troubles have been solved in one day. But I am encouraged. I feel a little more human just knowing that the possibility of a solid night's rest -- for both Gavin and myself -- is in my future. We both deserve to wake up grinning.

8 comments:

Amanda said...

Heidi--I'll add one thing here, (because it sounds like you're doing a great job!), when Kallie was 6 mos. old, she started taking 10 minute naps. I could seriously not get her to sleep for ANYTHING. And, being in an apartment situation where you could hear people walking upstairs and doors shutting down the hall, every little thing would wake her. When I told my pediatrician, he said to play radio static while she slept. It has worked SO well! Both of my girls sleep with "fuzz" now and it helps drown out the other living noises so they can actually sleep. Just thought that with two other boys in the house that might be something that could work for you.

O'Loughlin Family said...

OOOH Crying non-sleeping baby is a tough situation. I support the cry it out method. They are not going to cry themselves to death (most likely).

I just saw the comment you posted about toilet papering the inside of your house. I never would have remembered that. Oh man we thought that we were so clever.

Who is the backwards initial person that Rachel mentioned? I have been trying to figure it out.

Chad

Vicki said...

I'm really good at letting my babies cry....a little TOO good. It drives Shane crazy that I don't jump out of bed in the night. But, my kids usually start sleeping through the night at about 4 months old....can't wait!

The Wizzle said...

Oh, good luck to you. I hate this stage, but neither one of mine have been very good nighttime sleepers either. They weren't *bad*, I guess, just...not that good. Anyway, Gavin's a a pretty good age for this (in my extremely limited experience) so hopefully he catches on quickly. Sometimes kids just don't get what they want, because they don't know what's good for them! That never really changes. :)

granny said...

Sorry about the sharp intake of breath. :) I may not have lived through your first months of life had it not been for the vacuum and the subsequent recording we made of it. Every baby seems to be different. Good luck...you are doing great!

girlygirl said...

Hey Heidi! It sounds like you are doing an amazing job! Keep up the good work! I just wanted to add a little something. I have a book - my FAVORITE book - that has worked really well for me with both kids - "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Weisbluth is the last name of the Author. Anyway, it uses the cry it out method but has other ideas as well and I found it to be brilliant. I bought it when Alex was still a newborn and it works great! Anyway, maybe it will give you some ideas. Talk to you soon!
Chass

GinaJ said...

30 minutes is long, but not out-of-control. You don't count as a mean mommy in my book. At 8 months, Rob was a pretty shoddy sleeper, and we went the rounds with him. I remember once, he cried so hard he threw up. And we cleaned him up and tucked him back in and told him we love him and let him cry some more. It wasn't all that long before we saw progress, and it looks like Gavin is picking up quickly. It's not mean mommy-ish to teach your child to get proper rest, even though I'm sure 30 minutes felt like a LOT longer.

Jen said...

Go Heidi!! I have done the exact same thing every time with my kids. Bad habits, being a pushover, then getting to my breaking point and just doing it. Every time I wonder, why in the world did I wait so long? I'm so happy for you to have some good sleep and time alone in the near future - good luck!!! It's a great point to get to!

And HOLY COW - do you mean to say that Zach took 3 hours to stop crying?? Good Heavens - That is the worst torture EVER. Are you STILL sufferring from that night years ago? (O: I think I would require serious therapy. (o:

pass it on!

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