I've decided that instead of hashing out the gory details behind my adult "aha" moment, a brief synopsis will suffice. Believe me...this is the brief version of events.
The bottom line: On the Monday after Spring Break, Zachary will attend a new school.
This came about suddenly, and yet momentum has been building for months. It's been a bit of a rough school year for our little boy, partly because Zach is our oldest and we've struggled with knowing when to intervene and when to let things slide. We haven't been able to communicate with Zach's teacher very well, and our concerns about academic progress and (seemingly related) behavior issues haven't resolved to our satisfaction. Things came to a head last week when Zach's teacher informed us of several new challenges.
We live in a school district that offers open enrollment, or the option to choose which school our children attend. There is an annual "choice" window during which parents can apply to transfer schools. We considered submitting a transfer application this year, but I convinced myself that our troubles would improve next year with a different teacher and a fresh start. The choice window closed at the end of February.
Then, on Monday, I happened to talk with a mom whose concerns about our current school and her own children's future there really troubled me. The outlook for better teachers and a more positive experience looked bleak. I felt guilty about not following through with my gut feelings about a transfer. This mom encouraged me to pursue the option anyway, and with Garry heartily on board, on Tuesday I pursued it.
It was a difficult and emotionally draining process. Operating outside the choice window seemed impossible, but after a number of difficult conversations with district office personnel, our current principal, and staff at a new school, I learned we only had one option that would guarantee Zachary and Tyler seats at a better school in the fall. That option was transferring Zachary for the remainder of this school year.
Uprooting Zachary for the fourth quarter seemed harsh. I worried about Zachary's reaction. I dreaded the confrontation with his current teacher and principal that a sudden transfer would inevitably cause. But after weighing our options, it seemed like the best one. So I wrote a couple of letters, emailed them to the right people, and started the process.
By Wednesday morning, everything was official. Paperwork signed and dated by old and new principals. Awkward emails exchanged with the current teacher. A parent-teacher conference canceled. New student packets filled out at the new school. A tough conversation with Zachary. A few tears. His last day of school. Hopefully the hardest parts are behind us.
Zachary took cupcakes to his classmates and collected his friends' phone numbers yesterday. He came home with a stack of school work and a big grin on his face. Apparently his last day was a blast. He gets to meet his new teacher and tour his new school this morning. I think part of him is excited for a new adventure. And I know he'll do well.
As for me, I feel more settled about his education and his overall school experience than I have in months. We are headed in the right direction now; we just had to stumble a little before finding the path.
Mar 19, 2009
Mar 17, 2009
On being an adult
I spent much of my youth wishing I was older. There always seemed to be something tantalizing on the horizon, and I was sure the next notch of happiness would be attached to my next magical birthday. People always told me that I shouldn't wish away my youth, that with age came responsibility, that someday I'd want to be 15 again. I just rolled my eyes and kept wishing.
By and large, I was enormously relieved to leave behind my teenage years, the dating scene, and youthful naivete. On occasion, however, I now long for the days of simple responsibility, the days of making decisions that impacted few and for a very short time.
I'm an adult now, and life doesn't work that way anymore. Mostly I'm fine with my less-than-simple lfe, but on days like today I wish that someone else could make my big and complex decisions for me. I wish I could send an ambassador to have the difficult conversations, to stand up for something important, to deliver awkward news, to effect an important change. The kid in me would rather stand in the corner, be calm, demure and naive, and hand out compliments and handshakes like they were candy. And maybe hand out candy, too.
Instead of being that perky kid, today I had to be a persistent parent who demanded something that was supposed to be impossible. I had to stir the pot, make some waves, and be a teensy bit unpleasant. I had to make myself and others uncomfortable. I really didn't enjoy myself at all, and I kept calling the awesome man in my life to give me pep talks.
But you know what? At the end of the day, I am proud of myself. I discovered I'm not willing to stand idly by and surrender to the juvenile within. Having passionate feelings sometimes demands taking bold steps. I can do hard things, especially when they are important for my children and their future. I can suffer through the unpleasant when my heart knows the outcome will be worth it.
Today was a long and difficult day, but it was a good one. Perhaps in a future post, I'll fill in the gaps and tell you why. For now, I'm satisfied knowing that I can be a pretty good adult sometimes.
By and large, I was enormously relieved to leave behind my teenage years, the dating scene, and youthful naivete. On occasion, however, I now long for the days of simple responsibility, the days of making decisions that impacted few and for a very short time.
I'm an adult now, and life doesn't work that way anymore. Mostly I'm fine with my less-than-simple lfe, but on days like today I wish that someone else could make my big and complex decisions for me. I wish I could send an ambassador to have the difficult conversations, to stand up for something important, to deliver awkward news, to effect an important change. The kid in me would rather stand in the corner, be calm, demure and naive, and hand out compliments and handshakes like they were candy. And maybe hand out candy, too.
Instead of being that perky kid, today I had to be a persistent parent who demanded something that was supposed to be impossible. I had to stir the pot, make some waves, and be a teensy bit unpleasant. I had to make myself and others uncomfortable. I really didn't enjoy myself at all, and I kept calling the awesome man in my life to give me pep talks.
But you know what? At the end of the day, I am proud of myself. I discovered I'm not willing to stand idly by and surrender to the juvenile within. Having passionate feelings sometimes demands taking bold steps. I can do hard things, especially when they are important for my children and their future. I can suffer through the unpleasant when my heart knows the outcome will be worth it.
Today was a long and difficult day, but it was a good one. Perhaps in a future post, I'll fill in the gaps and tell you why. For now, I'm satisfied knowing that I can be a pretty good adult sometimes.
Mar 16, 2009
The dryer was hungry today.
At my house, laundry day always ends up with some variation of this:
That's right; count 'em up. Nine stray socks.
How many children in this family? Three. That's not a good average.
Please tell me this is happening elsewhere in the universe.
And please tell me that summer is around the corner. I'm ready for a sock-free existence.
That's right; count 'em up. Nine stray socks.
How many children in this family? Three. That's not a good average.
Please tell me this is happening elsewhere in the universe.
And please tell me that summer is around the corner. I'm ready for a sock-free existence.
Mar 14, 2009
Mission accomplished!
Zachary announced today that he'd like to audition for his school's talent show. I was surprised, given his history of stage fright, but also happy that he was interested in a performance opportunity. After a few minutes of brainstorming what talent he might share, we decided he should demonstrate his pogo-jumping skills. Zach was elated with this idea and quickly bundled up so he could practice outside.
After about half an hour, Zach burst in the door and ran downstairs to find me.
"Mom! Guess what?"
I couldn't imagine what had generated so much excitement.
"I did it! I made it to 100 jumps!"
This has been Zach's goal since receiving his pogo stick for Christmas. Last I heard he was hovering around the 65 mark. I gave him a high-five and grabbed the camera.
After capturing his beaming face, I filmed him attempting another 100+ jumping stint...and he made it! He started before the camera did, but all told he bounced 165 consecutive times before getting too tired. What a champ!
And if he doesn't make the cut at the elementary school, he can show off his pogo skills at the ward talent show next month. I'm in charge of that event, so he's sure to make it on stage!
After about half an hour, Zach burst in the door and ran downstairs to find me.
"Mom! Guess what?"
I couldn't imagine what had generated so much excitement.
"I did it! I made it to 100 jumps!"
This has been Zach's goal since receiving his pogo stick for Christmas. Last I heard he was hovering around the 65 mark. I gave him a high-five and grabbed the camera.
After capturing his beaming face, I filmed him attempting another 100+ jumping stint...and he made it! He started before the camera did, but all told he bounced 165 consecutive times before getting too tired. What a champ!
And if he doesn't make the cut at the elementary school, he can show off his pogo skills at the ward talent show next month. I'm in charge of that event, so he's sure to make it on stage!
Mar 13, 2009
Fresh from heaven
This morning my extended family
got its newest member
when the adorable
Olivia Kate Dunn
entered the world.
She belongs to Angie, Myron, and Chloe
(my sister and her fam).
Congratulations, little family of four!
Seeing this sweet newborn (at least online) makes me think I can survive the 70-ish days until the arrival of my own beautiful babe.
I think it'll be worth the wait.
when the adorable
Olivia Kate Dunn
entered the world.
She belongs to Angie, Myron, and Chloe
(my sister and her fam).
Congratulations, little family of four!
Seeing this sweet newborn (at least online) makes me think I can survive the 70-ish days until the arrival of my own beautiful babe.
I think it'll be worth the wait.
Out of the best books
This morning our little family started reading the Book of Mormon together for the fourth time.
I'll admit that when we finished Moroni chapter 10 yesterday, the final verse was a little anti-climactic, with two boys slurping cereal and poking each other and the littlest one drooling through yogurt self-service. Daddy was just trying to keep the peace and I wondered if anyone was really paying attention as we reached this important milestone.
But this morning, as we began our journey through the Book of Mormon once again, I was reminded why our daily breakfast tradition is so important.
From the Book of Mormon's introductory page (read the full text here), I read:
I'll admit that when we finished Moroni chapter 10 yesterday, the final verse was a little anti-climactic, with two boys slurping cereal and poking each other and the littlest one drooling through yogurt self-service. Daddy was just trying to keep the peace and I wondered if anyone was really paying attention as we reached this important milestone.
But this morning, as we began our journey through the Book of Mormon once again, I was reminded why our daily breakfast tradition is so important.
From the Book of Mormon's introductory page (read the full text here), I read:
"We invite all men everywhere to read the Book of Mormon, to ponder in their hearts the message it contains, and then to ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ if the book is true. Those who pursue this course and ask in faith will gain a testimony of its truth and divinity by the power of the Holy Ghost. (See Moroni 10: 3-5.)
"Those who gain this divine witness from the Holy Spirit will also come to know by the same power that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, that Joseph Smith is his revelator and prophet in these last days, and that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord’s kingdom once again established on the earth, preparatory to the second coming of the Messiah."
Raising my children to know and love the Savior and do all they can to return to Him is, after all, my primary goal as a parent. I would really love for them to test Moroni's promise, as I have, and learn for themselves that the Book of Mormon is true. Nothing else can prepare and protect them as these truths can.
So I will continue to read. And hopefully, once in a while, my children will try to listen.
Raising my children to know and love the Savior and do all they can to return to Him is, after all, my primary goal as a parent. I would really love for them to test Moroni's promise, as I have, and learn for themselves that the Book of Mormon is true. Nothing else can prepare and protect them as these truths can.
So I will continue to read. And hopefully, once in a while, my children will try to listen.
Mar 11, 2009
Spring has sprung
In my grandma's kitchen hangs a cross-stitch saying that I love.
It reads:
It reads:
Who plants a seed
beneath the sod
and waits to see
believes in God.
Today, once again, I became a believer.
In my back planter, I found seven tiny tulip sprouts.
In the front, I found one.
This development is incredibly exciting!
I am SO ready for some color
to brighten up this brown, brown world.
Last October I planted 75 happy red and yellow bulbs
(well, my mom did most of the work),
and if they all come up,
it will be a glorious Spring indeed.
beneath the sod
and waits to see
believes in God.
Today, once again, I became a believer.
In my back planter, I found seven tiny tulip sprouts.
In the front, I found one.
This development is incredibly exciting!
I am SO ready for some color
to brighten up this brown, brown world.
Last October I planted 75 happy red and yellow bulbs
(well, my mom did most of the work),
and if they all come up,
it will be a glorious Spring indeed.
Mar 10, 2009
Virtual Croatian care package
Dear Elder Dixon,
Since you are serving the Lord in a faraway land, we wanted to send you a package of goodies for your birthday to remind you that we love you. So, two months ago, your nephews and I browsed the aisles of Walmart, put together a little box, and mailed it off on January 16.
Full of love as it was, that little box had quite the journey! After making the two-week trip over land and sea to Osijek, Croatia, the box discovered you had moved. It probably missed you by just a couple of days since you were transferred to a new area a week before we expected. We hoped the box would get delivered to the missionaries in your old apartment or forwarded to Pula, your new hometown, so we enlisted the help of other missionaries to ensure its safe arrival.
For about five weeks the little box's whereabouts have been a mystery.
But a few days ago, much like a homing pigeon, that little box came back to us. Clearly, it has had an adventure.
It was just begging to be opened.
And, since we can't afford to send it on another cross-continental journey, we will enjoy its contents and officially owe you one birthday present!
Much love,
Your sis and her fam
Since you are serving the Lord in a faraway land, we wanted to send you a package of goodies for your birthday to remind you that we love you. So, two months ago, your nephews and I browsed the aisles of Walmart, put together a little box, and mailed it off on January 16.
Full of love as it was, that little box had quite the journey! After making the two-week trip over land and sea to Osijek, Croatia, the box discovered you had moved. It probably missed you by just a couple of days since you were transferred to a new area a week before we expected. We hoped the box would get delivered to the missionaries in your old apartment or forwarded to Pula, your new hometown, so we enlisted the help of other missionaries to ensure its safe arrival.
For about five weeks the little box's whereabouts have been a mystery.
But a few days ago, much like a homing pigeon, that little box came back to us. Clearly, it has had an adventure.
It was just begging to be opened.
And, since we can't afford to send it on another cross-continental journey, we will enjoy its contents and officially owe you one birthday present!
Much love,
Your sis and her fam
Mar 9, 2009
Garry Bartle, Super Dad
Before climbing in the van to come home from the airport last night, I greeted each of my boys with a hug and a kiss. We had a nice reunion. I was glad to be with my family again.
Once I was settled in my own seat, Tyler asked, "Did you miss us?"
"Of course!" I replied. And then back to Ty: "Did you miss me?"
Tyler didn't miss a beat. "No."
I laughed. A lot.
Eventually Tyler added, "Well, maybe a little bit, but mostly no."
At least he's honest.
And I'm not surprised. The boys spent the weekend with Super Dad. How could they go wrong?
On Friday night they watched movies, and what they didn't finish they enjoyed on Saturday morning. A long grocery run was interspersed with a delightful St. Patrick's Day fashion show, a brownie mix purchase, and lunch at McDonald's.
The boys helped Dad stain and varnish the wood cabinet he built. Garry gave them haircuts that allow them to spike up their hair (a long-requested transformation I have not had the energy to indulge). They played games and relaxed and generally had a great time.
When I got home from church in Beaverton yesterday morning, I checked my cell phone for messages. There was a text from Garry that read: "Adventures in fatherhood!" I called him for details and he related the following story.
Because of the time change, the morning schedule was thrown off a bit and Gavin had a later-than-usual nap. Getting ready for church was a little frenetic, so Garry and the boys arrived a few minutes late (during the sacrament hymn). Moments later, Garry noticed an unpleasant smell emanating from Gavin. He decided to wait until the sacrament had been passed to take care of the diaper problem. Once he arrived in the bathroom, however, he was dismayed to discover that Gavin had had a major blowout. We stopped packing around extra clothes for Gavin ages ago, so Garry had no choice but to go home and change him. So he loaded up all three boys and carted them home.
Once Garry changed Gavin from head to toe and replaced his own clothing, which was also smeared with diaper overflow, Garry prepared everyone for a quick return to church. Suddenly, without warning, Gavin threw up everywhere. The Bartle family church experience was abruptly canceled. Everyone trooped back inside and Garry cleaned up another mess.
The big boys were downstairs changing out of their freshly-adorned church clothes when Gavin puked again, this time all over the carpet in the boys' room. Garry whisked him off to the bathroom to clean him up and Gavin hurled again there. Garry said the volume was astonishing for such a small person! At least this mess splashed on solid surfaces. Poor Gavin was pretty miserable for a while, as was his father, I imagine.
By the time I returned home, all remnants of puke and stained clothing and carpet were cleaned up. Gavin was in better spirits.
I also found a full refrigerator and boys with neatly trimmed hair.
As Garry was changing for bed tonight, he sighed a big sigh. I asked if he was tired. He said, "Not particularly. Just ready for a break." He's not used to being on duty 24/7.
That's probably why, when Tyler announced he didn't miss me at all, Garry piped up. He definitely missed Mom.
It's good to be missed. And it's great to come back.
Once I was settled in my own seat, Tyler asked, "Did you miss us?"
"Of course!" I replied. And then back to Ty: "Did you miss me?"
Tyler didn't miss a beat. "No."
I laughed. A lot.
Eventually Tyler added, "Well, maybe a little bit, but mostly no."
At least he's honest.
And I'm not surprised. The boys spent the weekend with Super Dad. How could they go wrong?
On Friday night they watched movies, and what they didn't finish they enjoyed on Saturday morning. A long grocery run was interspersed with a delightful St. Patrick's Day fashion show, a brownie mix purchase, and lunch at McDonald's.
The boys helped Dad stain and varnish the wood cabinet he built. Garry gave them haircuts that allow them to spike up their hair (a long-requested transformation I have not had the energy to indulge). They played games and relaxed and generally had a great time.
When I got home from church in Beaverton yesterday morning, I checked my cell phone for messages. There was a text from Garry that read: "Adventures in fatherhood!" I called him for details and he related the following story.
Because of the time change, the morning schedule was thrown off a bit and Gavin had a later-than-usual nap. Getting ready for church was a little frenetic, so Garry and the boys arrived a few minutes late (during the sacrament hymn). Moments later, Garry noticed an unpleasant smell emanating from Gavin. He decided to wait until the sacrament had been passed to take care of the diaper problem. Once he arrived in the bathroom, however, he was dismayed to discover that Gavin had had a major blowout. We stopped packing around extra clothes for Gavin ages ago, so Garry had no choice but to go home and change him. So he loaded up all three boys and carted them home.
Once Garry changed Gavin from head to toe and replaced his own clothing, which was also smeared with diaper overflow, Garry prepared everyone for a quick return to church. Suddenly, without warning, Gavin threw up everywhere. The Bartle family church experience was abruptly canceled. Everyone trooped back inside and Garry cleaned up another mess.
The big boys were downstairs changing out of their freshly-adorned church clothes when Gavin puked again, this time all over the carpet in the boys' room. Garry whisked him off to the bathroom to clean him up and Gavin hurled again there. Garry said the volume was astonishing for such a small person! At least this mess splashed on solid surfaces. Poor Gavin was pretty miserable for a while, as was his father, I imagine.
By the time I returned home, all remnants of puke and stained clothing and carpet were cleaned up. Gavin was in better spirits.
I also found a full refrigerator and boys with neatly trimmed hair.
As Garry was changing for bed tonight, he sighed a big sigh. I asked if he was tired. He said, "Not particularly. Just ready for a break." He's not used to being on duty 24/7.
That's probably why, when Tyler announced he didn't miss me at all, Garry piped up. He definitely missed Mom.
It's good to be missed. And it's great to come back.
A wonderfully "Wicked" weekend
In honor of Wicked, the amazingly fabulous Broadway musical
I was privileged to see in Portland this weekend, I give you
some sentimental lyrics from "For Good,"
the closing number sung by two witches in the land of Oz:
some sentimental lyrics from "For Good,"
the closing number sung by two witches in the land of Oz:
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you....
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good.
That, folks, is how I feel about my wonderful Oregon family. Being there, seeing them...it was like a lovely dream I didn't want to end. It was full of quiet, peaceful plane rides, endless talking and laughing with girlfriends, a baby shower that defied all expectations for fun and generosity, delicious food at parties and restaurants, shopping, hugging, sitting on couches, bathroom emergencies, adventures in parking, an incredibly awe-inspiring Wicked experience, blankets and burp cloths and bows (oh my!), chance meetings on street corners, "traveling trio" singing, and more pregnant bellies than I could count. I came home with a suitcase full of baby girl goodies and a heart full of love for friends and cherished memories.
My wonderful weekend hosts:Krista (on the left, due in May) and Natalie (on the right, due in July)
with Cindi, another friend.
Carolyn, Julie, and Andrea
Melissa, Tiernan, Angie, Nancy, Jenelle (twins in May), Sandra, Tina, and Jen
Melissa, Jeannine, and Julie
Betsy and I are due about the same time!
Tiernan, Wendy, and Melissa
My mom and sister surprised me by mailing a package of goodies to Krista for the shower. My mom made the fabulous quilt and Angie made the incredible hair bows!
Julie organized all of the clothes, accessories,and gift bags so I could pack them.
Natalie and I outside the Keller Auditorium after seeing Wicked.
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