Dear Santa Claus,
The little kids wrote you some cute letters the other day. I had planned to take them to Macy's to mail the letters and see you at the mall, then go Christmas shopping for the cousins, and then get hot chocolate at Starbucks. Pretty fun snow day, right? Too bad the kids threatened mutiny and nearly killed each other. Instead of going on a fun outing I sent them all to their bedrooms and took Kate on a bunch of errands. She was super well-behaved, even in sub-zero weather, and we got a lot done. Merry Christmas to me! But the other four should be on your naughty list. For real.
Grumpy Mommy
...
Dear Self of 2005,
I'd like to tell you that my wise old self of 2013 has given up on quality and mess control, at least during the making and decorating of sugar cookies. It's so much more fun when the kids do what they want. The results are not pretty, but happy children are lots better than darling snowmen and Christmas trees. So just get over yourself and let the kids enjoy the tradition.
Your more seasoned self
...
Dear Lexi,
Thank you for spilling a full bowl of Apple Jacks and milk on the kitchen floor today. After wiping it up, I was glad to see one little section of clean floor. I'm out of mopping solution and keep forgetting to buy it, so the rest of the floor looks pretty gross.
Pathetic housekeeper
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Dear Mindy,
Remember that time we tied a Christmas tree on top of my van? I'm still laughing.
Costco shopper
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Dear Costco,
Thank you for having darling Christmas dresses for my girls for $18 a piece. Now I'd really like something new for myself to wear to church. Do you think I can accomplish this without actually trying on clothes in a store? No? Well, I guess it's just me and my black skirt, then. You don't carry my size anyway.
Costco shopper
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Dear pots and pans we got for our wedding,
After 15.5 years, we bid thee farewell. Bring on the non-stick coating and silicone handles. I do wish the new set was red or orange but a girl can't have everything.
Practical
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Dear House of Fabric,
I have selected Velvet Plum as the covering for my arm chairs. I actually did that about two weeks ago. Perhaps one of these days I will calculate how much fabric I need, and then I will order some, and then I will have fewer excuses for my unfinished/barely started project.
Novice re-upholsterererer
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Dear Gavin,
When vandalizing household property, you probably shouldn't sign your name.
Management
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Dear Zach,
You did a great job giving your first talk in Sacrament meeting. I am so proud of you for overcoming your fear of public speaking. I shed a happy tear or two in the back of the chapel. I also thought it was pretty hilarious when Brother Woodruff, the closing speaker, asked you to come to the pulpit so he could tell you the only person in the congregation you should be afraid of is Sister Skousen, the Primary President, because she was a fierce football player at the ward's Turkey Bowl on Thanksgiving.
Yo mama
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Dear Creche Committee,
It was real, it was fun, but it wasn't real fun. Haha....but totally true. Despite all the bumps and bruises and disappointments and setbacks, I am so glad that the Creche event we planned was so lovely. (Although it was super sad that the sub-zero temperatures canceled the Live Nativity! Truly tragic.) On Friday night I just sat in the chapel, felt the amazing spirit in the building, listened to the beautiful live music, and cried. (I was stressed to the max and the room was just so peaceful....) My two evenings in a row were well-spent within those walls. And now, it's d-o-n-e. Done! Over! Gone! See ya!!! I'm doing the happy dance.
The sign lady
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Dear Gavin,
I'm glad you love your gymnastics class. You are so proud of yourself for doing the splits. I'm glad for a cheap way to channel your energy on Monday afternoons. You would probably love real gymnastics lessons, but right now the Y is perfect.
Fellow gym member
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Dear Colorado,
I heard that after our crazy-dry-and-warm summer, we'd have a bitter cold winter. Well, the public commentary was correct, at least so far. To say that it has been freezing would be about 40 degrees above reality. Super coldness isn't a giant nuisance to myself, but I am getting pretty irritated with the winter gear and car seat combo. Fries and a drink would be so much better.
Mrs. Popsicle and her five little icicles
P.S. Can you help me find my sunglasses? The sun still bugs my eyes in the bitter cold.
...
Dear kindergarten teacher,
Thanks for hosting "pizza and pops," which proved to be an entertaining and endearing event for father and son. Gavin and his daddy loved the bonding time.
The other parent
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Dear stack of binders and boxes on my kitchen counter,
You are destined to become resources for Primary teachers in 2014. I have many, but not all, of the supplies necessary to put you together. For this reason you are stacked in my kitchen and may well remain there until January 4, which is the day before the first Sunday of the year. Although maybe the teachers need their books before that. Hm. This secretary gig is kinda complicated.
The newbie
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