Funnies

Gavin brought me a five-pound hand weight and asked, "How much does this weigh?"  I pointed to the number five on the end of the weight and explained that it weighed five pounds.  He didn't believe me.  A few minutes later he brought out the bathroom scale to test my "theory."  The weight was too light to register on the scale, and he didn't really understand how he weighed 51 instead of 46 when holding the weight.  Eventually we both gave up.  But I'm still not sure he believes me.

...

I was on my way to a wedding last week and stopped to get gas for the van.  While I was waiting next to the pump, I adjusted my skirt around the waist and all at once my slip fell to the ground.  Ooops!  I stepped out of it, picked it up, and threw it into the passenger seat.  Someone watching surveillance video probably got a kick out of that.

...

In our ward, choir practice is held at a member's home on Sunday afternoons.  Last Sunday, which was my first as accompanist (my new calling, which I love already), a huge thunderstorm was drenching Colorado Springs.  Everyone was pretty distracted by the thunder and lightning.  Towards the end of practice there was a HUGE clap of thunder, and a bolt of lightning that lit up the sky.  It startled me so much that I yelled, "Ack!" and stopped playing the piano altogether right as the choir was building to a climax.  Luckily everyone laughed with me.

...

I saw a quote on Facebook the other day that said, "Only dull women have immaculate houses.  I come from a long line of fascinating women."  While I think that is pretty funny, a more accurate saying for my household is: "Only dull children live in immaculate houses, and my children are totally fascinating."

...

I sent Zach to practice the piano.  Five minutes later I found this:

...

I took Kate to the fabric store to buy material and piping for couch pillows.  During the hour we waited in line at the cut counter, Kate charmed all the patrons.  And also played in the silky bolts of fabric.

...

Gavin couldn't find matching shoes before we went to the Y.  So he wore a red flip-flop and a gray and yellow flip-flop that were two completely different styles.  He refused to let me take a picture.

...

Gavin: How many months 'til I'm five?

Heidi: Four.

Lexi: How many months 'til my next birthday?

Heidi: Ten.

Lexi: Then how old will I be?

Tyler: Four.

Lexi: And then how old?

Tyler: Five.

Lexi: And then--

Tyler: [interrupting] Six, seven, and then a bunch of years, then 98, 99...

Lexi: And then I'm dead?

...