Oct 10, 2013

The Lineup

I saw a starting lineup spoof of LDS General Conference this weekend, so I thought I'd do something similar for my family.

Starting Lineup

Zachary Bartle, age 12 (in 9 days!)

Height: 5'4"
Weight: 105
Responsibility: 10
Attitude: 6
Signature move: Taking naps and/or going to bed early in order to avoid work

Finished the cross country season with a strong sprint to 17th place
Practices band at the school at 7:00 a.m. (his idea)
Attended the 7th and 8th grade band concerts and got more excited about percussion
Is being teased for being a "nerd" because he's in an eighth grade math class

Tyler Bartle, age 9.5

Height: 4' 8"
Weight: 76
Tenderheartedness: 10
Hugs: 10
Tolerance for annoying siblings: 0
Signature move: Hugs from behind, just because

Still going strong in piano lessons but gets really frustrated with imperfection
Loves art class and news crew after school
Is extremely responsible about homework and chores
Favorite TV show: "Dog with a Blog"

Gavin Bartle, age 5.83

Height: 3' 10"
Weight: 51
Humor: 10
Intensity: 10
Recent prayer: "Please bless that if it snows tomorrow, which I think it won't, that everyone will wear pants to keep warm, except for Mr. Pace, who never wears pants." (Note: Mr. Pace, the school's PE teacher, wears shorts instead of pants.)

Reading and writing skills are improving quickly
Lunch and recess are the best part of his day
Cowered on the floor during the church Primary program
Wants to have a wiggly tooth, but doesn't

Lexi Bartle, age 5 (she wishes)

Height: 3' 4.5"
Weight: 36
Gracefulness: 10
Skin Sensitivity: 12
Special skills: Combing her hair FLAT because she doesn't like her curls.

Loves dancing to all kinds of music, including the hymns during General Conference
Has a new BFF next door (insert Hallelujah Chorus)
Can't stand the "lines" in her jeans or socks or shoes
Is growing a new fingernail in place of the one she hurt

Kate Bartle, age 2

Height: 2' 10"
Weight: 28
Independence: 10
Clingy-ness: 10
Vocabulary: 10
Catch phrase: "I need a Band-Aid."

Favorite game is to dump out toy buckets and use the buckets to reach tall places
Second favorite game is to undress five times a day and put on new clothes
Third favorite game is to raid vitamins, medications, and Band-Aid containers ("child-proof": what is that?)
Is sleeping well in her big girl bed

Garry Bartle, age 30-something

Height: 6'
Weight: rapidly decreasing
Dad: 10
Husband: 10
Provider: 10
Specialty: Swooping in to fix a problem.

Recently endured a ridiculous HR inquiry because a disgruntled employee thought he was talking too loudly on the phone at work
Makes awesome Sunday dinners and desserts every week
Is participating in a digital media research study
Enjoys serving in the Elders Quorum presidency

Heidi Bartle, age 30-something

Height: 5'2"
Weight: increasing *sigh*
Homemaker: 7
Emotional eating: 10
Internet junkie: 10
Catch phrase: "Are you KIDDING me?"

Is delighted to have new neighbors and more kids (and nice adults) living close by
Remains a physical therapy patient; trying "needling" to numb the pain
Has burned more dinners in the last month than in her entire adult life
Is excited about friends who are investigating the LDS Church
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