The Lineup

I saw a starting lineup spoof of LDS General Conference this weekend, so I thought I'd do something similar for my family.

Starting Lineup

Zachary Bartle, age 12 (in 9 days!)

Stats

Height: 5'4"

Weight: 105

Responsibility: 10

Attitude: 6

Signature move: Taking naps and/or going to bed early in order to avoid work

Notes

Finished the cross country season with a strong sprint to 17th place

Practices band at the school at 7:00 a.m. (his idea)

Attended the 7th and 8th grade band concerts and got more excited about percussion

Is being teased for being a "nerd" because he's in an eighth grade math class

Tyler Bartle, age 9.5

Stats

Height: 4' 8"

Weight: 76

Tenderheartedness: 10

Hugs: 10

Tolerance for annoying siblings: 0

Signature move: Hugs from behind, just because

Notes

Still going strong in piano lessons but gets really frustrated with imperfection

Loves art class and news crew after school

Is extremely responsible about homework and chores

Favorite TV show: "Dog with a Blog"

Gavin Bartle, age 5.83

Stats

Height: 3' 10"

Weight: 51

Humor: 10

Intensity: 10

Recent prayer: "Please bless that if it snows tomorrow, which I think it won't, that everyone will wear pants to keep warm, except for Mr. Pace, who never wears pants." (Note: Mr. Pace, the school's PE teacher, wears shorts instead of pants.)

Notes

Reading and writing skills are improving quickly

Lunch and recess are the best part of his day

Cowered on the floor during the church Primary program

Wants to have a wiggly tooth, but doesn't

Lexi Bartle, age 5 (she wishes)

Stats

Height: 3' 4.5"

Weight: 36

Gracefulness: 10

Skin Sensitivity: 12

Special skills: Combing her hair FLAT because she doesn't like her curls.

Notes

Loves dancing to all kinds of music, including the hymns during General Conference

Has a new BFF next door (insert Hallelujah Chorus)

Can't stand the "lines" in her jeans or socks or shoes

Is growing a new fingernail in place of the one she hurt

Kate Bartle, age 2

Stats

Height: 2' 10"

Weight: 28

Independence: 10

Clingy-ness: 10

Vocabulary: 10

Catch phrase: "I need a Band-Aid."

Notes

Favorite game is to dump out toy buckets and use the buckets to reach tall places

Second favorite game is to undress five times a day and put on new clothes

Third favorite game is to raid vitamins, medications, and Band-Aid containers ("child-proof": what is that?)

Is sleeping well in her big girl bed

Garry Bartle, age 30-something

Stats

Height: 6'

Weight: rapidly decreasing

Dad: 10

Husband: 10

Provider: 10

Specialty: Swooping in to fix a problem.

Notes

Recently endured a ridiculous HR inquiry because a disgruntled employee thought he was talking too loudly on the phone at work

Makes awesome Sunday dinners and desserts every week
Is participating in a digital media research study

Enjoys serving in the Elders Quorum presidency

Heidi Bartle, age 30-something

Stats

Height: 5'2"

Weight: increasing *sigh*

Homemaker: 7

Emotional eating: 10

Internet junkie: 10

Catch phrase: "Are you KIDDING me?"

Notes

Is delighted to have new neighbors and more kids (and nice adults) living close by

Remains a physical therapy patient; trying "needling" to numb the pain

Has burned more dinners in the last month than in her entire adult life

Is excited about friends who are investigating the LDS Church