July letters

Dear Kate,

I'm sure I'd cry too if [insert whatever malady is currently vexing you], but don't you have any compassion on my poor nerves?

Love,

Frazzled/Selfish Mama 

...

Dear poor-excuse-for-a-sprinkler-system,

Do you have any idea how much back-breaking labor (not to mention cold, hard cash) Garry and I have invested in the health and welfare of our lawn this year?  I suppose it was naive to assume we could rescue the yard in one summer after a couple of years of neglect,  but I am seriously annoyed that your lack of functionality is wrecking my vision for beautiful grass.

With contempt,

Dashed Hopes

...

Dear treadmill under the fan,

We had a pretty great date this morning.  Although I was initially disappointed that all the elliptical machines were busy when I arrived at the YMCA,  I'm glad I got over myself and broke out Week Six of the 10k training program.  I feel more like myself when I'm running jogging than at any other time.

See you tomorrow,

The lady with the worst ID photo on the planet 

...

Dear Gavin,

I'm sorry I was completely useless when you were stuck on the Lego Batman video game.  You needed help getting your motorcycle between the trucks, and I couldn't do it.  I'm sure this took me down a few notches in your book, but the fact that I'm letting my four-year-old play video games at all makes me ashamed to show my face in parenting circles everywhere.  So I guess we're even.

Signed--

Old-fashioned mother (and proud of it) 

...

Dear ward members,

What does a family of seven have to do to sit in the chapel on Sunday?  I think arriving 20 minutes early ought to secure us a seat in heaven, not to mention a pew near the front, but apparently being present 40 minutes early is necessary.  I give up. We'll be sitting in the hard chairs from now on.

Good thing the church is still true way back in the gym.

Sister B. 

...

Dear dishwasher,

I've been thinking that I need to buy just a few more bottles for Kate.  It seems I have to wash one by hand a bit too often because I don't run you often enough.  Then I realized that if I made dinner every day, I would run you every day, and my problem would be solved.

I think I'm buying more bottles.

Lady McLazyton

...

Dear cranky grandma at the grocery store,

You haven't yelled at me for a while.  I wonder why.  Oh, yeah.  I never take my kids anywhere.  Ever.

Yours Truly,

Brilliant 

...

Dear army of babysitters,

Thank you for helping me avoid cranky grandmothers everywhere.  And thank you for sometimes doing my dishes.  And you're welcome for the wad of cash in your college funds. (At least I hope that's where my/your money is going.)

Gratefully,

The writer of many checks

...

Dear America,

Happy birthday!  You're the best!  Forgive me if I don't light a candle in your honor tomorrow.  I think I'll have a Popsicle instead.  It's a safer choice.

A freedom lover

...

Dear Colorado firefighters,

You are amazing and heroic and wonderful and awesome.  I'm so impressed that you've reached 80% containment two weeks ahead of schedule.  Enjoy the rain!

A Briargate cheerleader

...

Dear readers,

A local friend reminded me today that in the wake of a crisis like the Waldo Canyon fire, people who aren't directly affected tend to go back to their ordinary lives and forget the devastation that lingers for the victims.  If you are interested in helping ease the burdens of those who have lost their homes to the fire [note: 350 homes burned to the ground], please let me know.  I've got some ideas.

Love,

Me