2.5

Gavin's 2 1/2-year mark passed a couple of weeks ago. I can't believe so much has happened in his short little life. Mostly I record the crazy things he does (the sheer volume gives them top priority most days), but it's time to document other parts of his personality.

At 30 months, Gavin thinks he is much older. He constantly longs to be included in what the big boys are doing and resents his designation as one of "the Littles." In stature he's certainly not little! And, in truth, he is growing up. This month he got to join Daddy and his brothers on a swimming trip at the rec center, and he also got to go to the Fathers and Sons camp-out. Gavin behaves well enough in the stroller (on occasion) that he attended a few events at the boys' school toward the end of the year. He just loves being included.

Of course there are the frequent times that Gavin can't participate in what the bigger kids are doing, but he always tries. This week he has noticed Zach's and Tyler's backpacks hanging in the closet, so he started wearing them around the house. They dragged on the floor. So the last time I was at Wal-Mart I picked up a cheap "pack-pack" that is just his size. Gavin is totally thrilled.



Gavin has been trying to learn to pedal his tricycle over the last few weeks. He refused any assistance from his mother, and one day the process finally clicked. Now he can pedal and steer. I bet he rides a two-wheeler early. He is already eyeing Tyler's bicycle (and wearing Zach's helmet).



Gavin believes that this remote control (for an airplane that has long been broken) is a camera. He holds it up to cover his eyes, says, "Smile!" and presses buttons until he has "taken a picture." It's a pretty silly ritual, but we all oblige. Every time I download photos from my pocket-sized camera, there are random photos on the memory card that were obviously taken by Gavin. His snaphappy nature is genetic.





Gavin is sweet, thoughtful, affectionate, articulate, and eager to please. The way he talks (so expressively) reminds me a lot of his four-year-old cousin, Chloe. Lately he just makes me laugh. When I brought home new pajamas for him (to replace his ratty hand-me-downs) yesterday, his reaction merited a much bigger gift!

Challenging as he is, we can't imagine life without dear Gavin.

Potter Fever

For a month or two, Garry has had a fun bedtime ritual with Zach and Tyler: reading to them from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. This has been special time for the boys and their dad, and the story was exciting to boot! Last weekend, after they finished the book together, we watched the movie based on the book after the little ones went to bed. The boys loved it.

Zachary immediately devoured the second book in the series, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, which was our prerequisite for watching the movie. Tyler wasn't sure he could read the book on his own (I wasn't so convinced myself), but after a couple of chapters, he was hooked. Tyler likes things nice and quiet when he reads, so I have found him sprawled on my bed, hiding in my closet, lying on the couch, and, today, kicked back in the garage.

I love, love, LOVE to see him reading.

I'm still not sure how I feel about a six-year-old reading Harry Potter. Some of the details are lost on him. For now, that's just fine. But I hope to find a different series to hook him for the summer. Any suggestions?

Tender mercies

My journal is missing. I find the timing ironic, since there has been much in my life lately that I have wished to record. I have especially felt urgency to document the small ways in which I feel God's love and see His hand in my life. Lately my mind has been drawn to David A. Bednar's talk from General Conference in April 2005. An excerpt from that talk is:

"Near the conclusion of the singing, to my mind came this verse from the Book of Mormon: “But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance” (1 Ne. 1:20).

My mind was drawn immediately to Nephi’s phrase “the tender mercies of the Lord,” and I knew in that very moment I was experiencing just such a tender mercy. A loving Savior was sending me a most personal and timely message of comfort and reassurance through a hymn selected weeks previously. Some may count this experience as simply a nice coincidence, but I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord’s timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them."

Today I decided to share some of the tender mercies I have received during a trying time.
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Gavin doesn't like to take a nap. Does this sound like a two-year-old you might know? Gavin's nap time routine requires me to cuddle under the covers, arrange his stuffed friends "just so," and sing a number of Primary songs. I end the ritual with, "I love you Gavin. You are such a good boy." (This is a good reminder for us both.)

On Thursday I was dragging due to several hours of insomnia the night before. I had spent the hour after an early lunch trying to rest on the couch downstairs while Gavin and Lexi played. I was only partly coherent, but it was too early to put the babies down. Finally, their nap time approached. I sat up and nursed Lexi. I told Gavin it was almost nap time; he needed to get in bed soon.

A few minutes later, I found him asleep in his bed. Asleep! I nearly cried. To see that sweet boy sleeping was to see absolute evidence that Heavenly Father knew my name and my need in that moment.



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Another story involves Gavin, as well.

My prayers for this boy's safety are not casual prayers. Gavin does things that endanger his life on a regular basis. He is curious, physically mature beyond his years, and yet so innocent he doesn't understand when he crosses the line of rational and safe behavior. And I am his distracted mother, forever a step behind, stooping to clean the mess in his wake. Somehow I always miss the moment of infraction or am too far away to catch him when he falls. And yet he is always protected from significant harm.

Last Monday, I sat Gavin in front of a Clifford episode and retreated to Lexi's bedroom to nurse her. I longed for the comfort of the rocking chair and ottoman. I needed five minutes' peace.

I thoroughly enjoyed that five minutes, but when I returned to the couch where Gavin should have been, I knew immediately he was gone. I took Lexi into my bedroom where Tyler was watching TV. I closed the closet and bathroom doors and told Tyler he was in charge for a few minutes. Then I walked out the front door.

Gavin has a few favorite haunts outside: the sandbox, the neighbor's clump of trees, and the other neighbor's garage. In short order, I eliminated those places. No Gavin. I continued to walk down the street, calling Gavin's name, searching as I walked. After passing four houses I came to the end of our cul-de-sac and a cross street. I stood on the corner and looked left, toward the neighborhood mailbox. I felt pulled strongly to the right, toward a busier cross street. I went right, calling Gavin's name. I didn't doubt that Gavin would have come this far, but I was starting to panic. Cars whizzed by at 40 miles an hour. He could easily be killed at this intersection -- or kidnapped.

I crossed the street, looking both ways, wondering where to turn. Suddenly, I saw him, two houses in on the next side street. He had the "for sale" sign we had planted on that street and was attempting to give it a new home. Of course he was running around without a care in the world.

I should have been furious. Instead I was so grateful. He was safe. And I had been led right to him.
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Last night, after a rough day, I went to bed early. Really early...like 8:30. I was asleep before 9:00. At 10:30 I woke up in a cold sweat after a horrific nightmare. I could hardly breathe. Garry was gone for the night. The kids were all in their beds. The house was hot and muggy. For a while, I was just miserable, with evil images from my nightmare swimming before my eyes. I was sure I wouldn't sleep all night.

The first tender mercy came as I checked on the kids. Seeing Tyler snuggled in his bed reminded me that he had lost his second tooth and needed a visit from the Tooth Fairy. I was so grateful that he wouldn't be disappointed in the morning!



The second came as I was back in bed, struggling to banish thoughts from my dream. Scriptures I had read earlier in the day came to my mind. They were scriptures of joy and light, of the Holy Ghost and fervent prayer. Then I turned on the TV, looking for something to distract my terrorized mind. I found a BYU Women's Conference talk that I had recorded in March but never gotten around to watching. (Sadly, the transcript isn't available online.) It offered the perfect message to lift my heavy heart.
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Last Wednesday night, while at Zachary's baseball practice, I was talking on my cell phone to a friend who needed help. She asked if Garry could come help give her sister a blessing of healing. He agreed, and they set an appointment for later that night. As the appointment drew near, I decided to ask Garry to give me a blessing, too. I had wanted one for several days, but the timing was never right. What followed was a beautiful, personal message from God that gave me comfort, hope, and strength. I am so grateful that the way opened up to receive it.

After Garry helped bless my friend's sister, the adults engaged in small talk. Our home for sale came up, as did the fact that my friend's husband is a Realtor. Making another connection in this business is always good. We hope he is the agent who will bring us a buyer!
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This week has been a roller coaster ride on the home sale scene. I have been pretty emotional about dashed hopes and unrealized expectations. I realize these things are mostly superficial, and that I have great blessings, but I have still struggled.

One of the hardest things about being "on hold" is that we can't make plans for anything HERE. Life could change at any minute, so I can't commit to lessons or camps or mom's groups or anything. However, on Friday, I realized that the next session of swimming lessons at the rec center begins on Monday. I was pleased to find classes for both of the big boys in the right levels at the same time. There were wait lists, of course, but Zachary has already gotten a spot. If Tyler gets in, too, that won't just be a tender mercy -- it will be a huge blessing, and a reminder that Heavenly Father loves my bored little boys as much as he loves their mom.
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Saturday post script: Tyler got into a swim class! God is good.

Day Camp

Zachary was thrilled to attend our stake's Cub Scout day camp this week. He spent three days in the woods doing all kinds of great activities: whittling, tying knots, touring a flight tower, riding horses, shooting BB guns and arrows, hiking, crafting a slingshot, and running around in the dirt with 150 other Cub Scouts. He completed lots of scouting requirements and had an amazing experience.

Well, I'm guessing he had an amazing experience; he came home filthy and happy every night, but wasn't very forthcoming on the details. Zach isn't the chattiest kid! But I know the camp had fantastic leaders, offered some incredible opportunities, and he definitely participated, so that's good enough for me.

On Friday afternoon I took the other kids up to the campsite for a family program and closing ceremonies. We enjoyed some snacks together (I had to take a picture of Zach's filthy hands as he scooped up his treats), listened to some speakers, and watched each ward pack perform short skits.

The 90-minute program was pretty long for the Littles, who just wanted to get out of the stroller to explore amongst the rocks and trees. So we spent a lot of time wandering around the camp. I'm glad for a sturdy stroller!

Zach's group skit was called "Monkeys Cleaning Their Ears." Pretty silly! This photo shows the pack receiving last-minute instruction from their dynamic and talented leader, Janae Daniels. In the video, Zach is fourth from the right. From his height, you'd think he was one of the oldest kids in the group, but he's one of the youngest!

Zach and I were both sad to see day camp come to an end. It has provided marvelous entertainment this week! But I am so grateful that Zach was able to attend. It was one of the many things we weren't sure he would be able to do this summer. Now camp is the final item crossed off our "must do before moving" list!

Wedded bliss

Garry and I attempted to celebrate our 12th anniversary last Saturday. Using a birthday gift card, we treated ourselves to a feast at Texas Roadhouse (thanks, Ang and My!). We enjoyed pleasant conversation even though such a boisterous restaurant didn't provide a very intimate atmosphere. After dinner I called the babysitter to confirm the showtime of the movie we planned to see. She didn't answer the phone.

I called again. And again. And again. About 20 minutes later, Zachary finally picked up. There was lots of screaming in the background. The babysitter was totally frazzled and asked us to come home. We were there in 10 minutes.

Garry and I calmed the kids and helped them get to bed. I cleaned up the kitchen. We met on the couch some time later and held hands across the back pillows. We looked at each other, rolled our eyes, and laughed. The evening had not been quite what we had planned, but it was OK. We are a happy family. We have four great kids and a wonderful life together.

Today, our actual wedding anniversary, was about as far from romantic as a day could be. It started off with a bang -- Zach was late for Cub Scout day camp and forgot his camp shirt. I pulled the shirt out of the dryer and ran it back to the church (in my pajamas) and found part of Zach's lunch on the counter when I got home. While I was in the shower, Gavin spilled a bowl of half-eaten cereal and milk on the couch, and in my haste to clean it up, I broke a glass dish in the sink.

Gavin and Tyler each had meltdowns in the van when we were preparing to meet Garry for a lunch date. I aborted the mission; we had leftover mac-n-cheese at the kitchen table and early naps all around. (Yes, even for the six-year-old.)

At 1:00, a retired friend came to fix a leaking water spigot in the back yard. Garry came home to consult. I tried to sleep (terrible insomnia last night left me dragging today) but the drone of lawnmowers in the green space behind our house kept me awake. I got up and started cleaning the house. I had a feeling that a showing was coming.

At 2:30, Garry and I got the kids out of bed and put them in the van. It was time to head to the "family fireside" at Cub Scout day camp. I picked up a friend's two kids and drove to the campsite on the Air Force base. There we settled in for a 90-minute outdoor program. Keeping the Littles entertained in the stroller was a challenge. The snacks only lasted so long.

Half-way through that event, Garry texted with news: we had a showing at 5:00. I was so grateful the house was mostly prepared! Garry finished the de-cluttering portion of the preparation while Dale finished the spigot. I still needed to mop and vacuum before 5:00. Zach's scout troop was second-to-last in the skit line-up, and then he had to participate in the closing flag ceremony before we could leave.

By the time the crowd said "amen," the kids and stroller and camp chairs were back in the van. Zach and I sprinted to the van and we began the trip home. We pulled into the driveway at 4:45. While I set a world record for vacuuming and mopping, Zach and Tyler changed into their baseball clothes in the garage. I gathered water bottles, cheese sticks, crackers, and popsicles, and then we pulled out of the driveway at 5:01.

We drove to the ball field for Tyler's practice, which didn't start until 5:30. Everyone got out and played on the playground. Garry showed up just as practice started. At 5:45, Zach and I took Garry's car and picked up one of his teammates for their practice (at a different park). I dropped those boys off, then went to Dale's house to pay him for the parts he purchased to fix our spigot. I got to his driveway before I realized I left my purse in the van at Tyler's practice. I stopped at another friend's house to pick up the moving boxes she promised to save for me, but since I arrived later in the day than planned, she had given them to someone else.

I met Garry at Tyler's practice field to pick up my purse. He delivered the payment check to Dale. I went back to Zach's practice. When he finished, I took his friend home, and then we went to our own house, where Garry had just finished bathing the other kids. I started dinner: scrambled eggs, sausage, hash brown cakes, and orange julius. The sink backed up -- three inches of murky water on each side -- but that would have to wait for later. Lexi nursed and Zach showered somewhere in there. We all ate dinner.

And then we had a really sweet moment.

I asked the kids if they realized that 12 years ago today, Garry and I were sealed for time and all eternity in a holy temple. (Of course this had never entered their consciousness.) That sparked a great discussion about preparing for marriage and life and parenthood. We talked about what to look for in an eternal companion, and what their eternal companions might be looking for...in them.

And then, over ice cream pie, I told them the story of how I knew I should marry their Dad.

I told them how lucky they are to have parents who live together, who love each other, and who are totally committed to making their marriage work. It isn't always easy for us, but our kids can always count on parents who will keep trying, even on the hard days. They are part of a forever family.

So tonight, even though Garry and I aren't dining at a fancy restaurant, making plans for an exotic vacation, or doing anything but falling into an exhausted heap on the couch, we are perfectly content.

This is the "happily ever after" we have always dreamed about.

Happy anniversary

12 years

4 kids

14 jobs

3 degrees

4 cars

5 states

19 callings

7 homes

1 happy life

Happy Anniversary, Babe.

I can't imagine life without you.

Baseball season

When I registered Zach and Tyler for baseball at the end of April, I wondered if we'd be here to participate in the season. Well, here we are! We don't know how long the season will last for us, so we will just try to enjoy every practice and game.



The boys have practices at the same time on the same fields, but their games are at different parks. So Garry will take one baseball player/time/venue, plus a Little child, and I will take the other. We will switch off days and times and kids.

Last night I took Lexi to Tyler's game, which was the closer park and the later time slot. I remembered the camera but the battery was nearly dead. (At least the cell phone works in a pinch.) I forgot a chair. Better luck next time!











Tyler really enjoyed his game. He had a couple of great hits and ran up on a few balls in the outfield. Lexi and I basked in the cool evening breeze, played with a stray baseball, and watched storm clouds form overhead. It was a nice evening for baseball!

Flowers and frustrations

If you have a sensitive stomach, don't read this post.

If you want to read about major things in my life, keep going, but be warned: this isn't a tale with a happy ending.


Yesterday started off beautifully. I attended our old ward's sacrament meeting to witness two baby blessings. The spirit in that meeting was electrifying. I came home uplifted and rejuvenated. The family worked together to clean the house for a showing -- hoping it was our last -- and we left for church more than an hour early. The kids ate lunch in a parking lot, and then we attended our three-hour block of church meetings. I was thrilled that we weren't needed as subs in the nursery, Gavin attended his class without complaint (a first), and Lexi napped so I got to enjoy the Relief Society lesson. We closed our family fast at the end of the day feeling certain that God would provide, that the right things would happen to enable our move.


We were a little surprised not to hear anything yesterday evening from the family that had toured our house. They had come for a second showing, and their agent had told us on Thursday that an offer was probably coming. During the intervening days, we made phone calls and looked at Arizona real estate online. We decided that when we go to look for houses, we will take the kids and enough supplies to hold us over for a month. Once we find a house, the kids and I will stay in Arizona with my parents, and Garry will come home to work and pack and finish up here. That meant that if an offer came this weekend, we could be gone for good in a week. The timing would be perfect in many ways. We started to prepare.


By early evening I was antsy. Although I was certain the right thing would happen, I was anxious to know the what and the how and the when. So, even though I am dieting and exercising -- trying to change my life -- I made chocolate chip cookies. After a week of eating rabbit food and drowning myself in water, the chocolate and sugar smelled absolutely divine. Since I was alone in the kitchen, I took a bite of the dough. Delicious. There was a crunchy something, which I assumed was crystallized sugar...except that didn't make sense because the recipe calls for 16 minutes of beating and mixing. Hm. I shrugged and took another bite. Crunchy again. Weird!


As I placed balls of cookie dough on the pan, I was horrified to find the crunchy culprit: weevils. Yes, weevils, those disgusting garden pests that must have infiltrated my flour. Weevils in the cookie dough! And I had surely eaten two of them. I almost threw up. I brushed my teeth twice. I didn't return to the kitchen all night. Weevils. UGH. So much for the cookies.


I managed to survive the night -- even to sleep, despite my whirring mind -- but this morning woke up feeling funky. I was frustrated at sleeping in, which meant I lost my exercise window. I was frustrated at boys who had used up their two-hours-a-day electronics quota before breakfast. I was frustrated at the forecast (93 degrees) in a house without air conditioning. I was frustrated that I still didn't know more than I had the day before about our plans. I was frustrated that I didn't have cookies. I prayed and prayed that I could have a happy heart, that I could overcome the temptation to feel sour. Garry promised to follow up with Realtors (from Friday's promising showing and Sunday's potential offerers) at his first opportunity.


Garry called at 10:30. We had an offer! Yeehaw! But, hold on....it was a ridiculous low-ball offer. Our house is listed at $275,000. They offered $200,000. WHAT?

Oh, and Friday's clients walked. Despite their effusive praise after the showing, our house didn't make their top three. Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, we are back in the darkness...and just when we thought there was light up ahead.

Shortly after I received this news, Gavin threw up. The vomit splatted right next to the spot where he had cracked five eggs on the floor. And then I realized Zach had missed a mandatory flag ceremony practice for Cub Scout day camp this morning. Later, while I was nursing Lexi, Gavin escaped the house. I finally found him two blocks away, trying to transplant one of our "for sale" signs in someone's yard.


Last week I walked into our backyard and took pictures of the beautiful Spring flowers. Three varieties of lilacs were still fragrant; the bleeding hearts were at the peak of perfection. I think I caught them on their last fabulous day. The Summer heat has wilted most of them now, so I am thrilled to have these photos to remind me of their elegant grandeur.

This really is a gorgeous place to live. The intense blue sky and electric green grass, the spectacular mountains, the cool breeze, the afternoon thunderstorms. I do love it here. Here is good. I can stay here a while longer.

Right?

Fathers and Sons

Garry beefed up his application for Father of the Year by hauling three boys to the annual Fathers and Sons camp-out. As camping trips go, it's the easiest gig in town: 20 minutes from home, pick up dinner on the way, and the ward provides breakfast. Still, camping is a lot of work with little kids!

The tent:

Exploring:

Roasting marshmallows with the ward:

Sitting by the campfire:

Beautiful sunset:



Nighty-night!

Morning discovery:

Visiting the B-52 Memorial adjacent to the campground:

Not pictured:
Taking down the tent while keeping an eye on the (wrong) group's breakfast preparations...and missing breakfast with the ward. (Major bummer.)

Also not pictured:
Breakfast at IHOP on the way home.

All in all, a great trip!

Garry immediately commenced mowing and trimming the yard when he got home.
He wore Lexi in a backpack most of the time.

*Sigh*
My hero!

da girls

While the boys were roughin' it up at the Fathers and Sons camp-out last night, the girls stayed home. What a quiet night!



We had dinner.



Lexi went to bed. I called a friend, then went to bed (at 9:00).



Lexi slept through the night (until 6:30). Woohoo! Then we had breakfast. What a calm event that was!





After some morning chores, we took a jog together. Lexi fell asleep.







I transferred her to bed at home and had time to shower before she woke up.

I suppose that in years to come, Lexi and I will do fun things like painting nails, watching movies, or going out. But this year, I basked in the quiet and the calm that pervaded my house in the absence of boys.

Ahhhhhh.....