Calling all Super Nannies

My children are driving me bonkers. We need help. I'm going to list some scenarios and you, dear readers, are going to tell me how to handle them.  I need strategies and consequences. I need activity ideas for children who won't quietly read or color or play with dolls/trucks/balls/friends. I am seriously at my wit's end.  People smile and nod and pat me on the head when I say this, but they truly have no concept of the bedlam that goes on in this house.  You probably don't want to know, and I hardly dare admit it, but I am so desperate for help that I'm going to try it.

Tell me what to do about:

A. Kids who hurt each other--pinching, punching, kicking, scratching, shoving, hair-pulling, physically intimidating, etc.

B. Kids who flatly refuse to comply with instructions.  "Heck no!"  "I don't have to."  "No way."  "You can't make me."  "See if you can stop me."  This is particularly difficult with the child who is taller than I am.

C. Kids who run away from home, either around the block or for more than 20 minutes.  Kids who hide outdoors when called (and think it's funny).

D. Kids who say bad words and are fully aware of what they are saying.  They mean what they say and have no remorse.

E. Kids who do any/all of the above when I don't see it happen.

F. Kids who have over-the-top, clearly dramatized, loud, insane scream-fests over the smallest things.

G. Kids who tattle relentlessly and police each other on their bad behavior.

H. Kids who terrorize each other so much when they have babysitters that sometimes we can't trust them (the kids) enough to leave them.

Just so you know, revoking privileges like watching TV and playing with friends doesn't deter bad behavior at all. I have tried giving chores, charging money, and confining the kids in their bedrooms.  Those things work in the moment, but don't prevent the same things from happening over and over and over and over again.

So, in case you were wondering, this is real life at my house. We need help.

#dfr13

The 2013 Dixon Family Reunion commenced in the Arizona mountains from July 25-29. On Facebook and Twitter, all posts related to the reunion were followed by #dfr13.  It was a thing, so I'm doing it one more time.  (Sidebar: Eric's mustache was a joke, and we unanimously agreed that he looked ridiculous.)

We stayed at Stone Haven Lodge in Show Low.  It was amazing.  One of the little kids' favorite activities was taking a bath in the jetted tub (one of four) every night.

Almost everyone came: my parents, four of my siblings, and their spouses and children.  The only one missing was Sister Holly Dixon, who is a missionary in Derby, England. We missed her!  Dad made us all t-shirts to commemorate the event.  The yellow jeep on the shirts pay tribute to Dad's Yellow Jeep Project, which he has launched as a weight loss motivator.  Anyway, we all posed for a picture on the steps.

That day we also played games with whipped cream and marshmallow guns (not together).

We also enjoyed some minute-to-win-it games.

The 1500-piece puzzle was fun.

The boys especially loved a bunch of other games.  I was a big fan of corn hole.  We also played Jeopardy and Mad Libs, courtesy of yours truly.

We ate a lot (a lot a lot).

I took a nap and read a book.

Myron took the kids shooting.

We went to a rodeo in Snowflake on Pioneer Day.  We were determined to wait out the rain, but after getting thoroughly soaked, we left when the lightning got too close.  We were bummed.

A fun part of our trip to Arizona was taking the kids on an airplane.  We flew from Denver to Phoenix and then drove three hours to Show Low, and vice versa.  The older boys flew a couple of times when they were little, but the younger kids hadn't been on an airplane before.  Every step of the trip was an adventure.  Our travel days were still long, but every moment of frustration was mitigated by the fact that we weren't jammed in a van together for hours on end.  Hooray!

So thank you, dear family, for a fun weekend.  We thoroughly enjoyed spending time with you for a few days.  It's a rare treat for us to see you, so thanks for making the effort to come!  Next time in Colorado, OK?

Sometimes life is messy

Last week I forgot a load of laundry in the washer.  It sat, fermenting, for three days.  When I discovered my mistake, the load of wash (a big one--reds and pinks and oranges--my kitchen towels, bathroom rugs, and a good chunk of Kate's and Lexi's wardrobes) stunk. Bad. So I washed it again, and that didn't work.  I poured Oxy Clean and vinegar in the load, washed it again, and it didn't work.  Finally, I soaked the entire load in hot water and a whole lotta vinegar and baking soda.  The clothes soaked over night, and the towels soaked for 24 hours.  Here's what that looked like.

Eventually, after great care and patience, the stinky smell left and the laundry was fresh and clean once again. I've decided that's like life.  Sometimes an unexpected mess drops in my lap and I don't know what to do with it. I didn't go looking for trouble; it just found me and hurt more than I expected.  I try and try and try and that thing is still stupid and messy.  After a while, though, the mess lessens, and in time the stench fades and everything is back to normal again.

Right now my mess isn't super tragic.  It just feels stinky and stupid. I'm not sure what the vinegar-and-baking soda solution looks like yet, but I look forward to coming out on the other side all fresh and rosy.

P.S.  I'm being cryptic on purpose.  Giving details would be even more dramatic, and of course I wouldn't want that.

Do you love your neighbor?

There's a lady in my ward who has taken me under her wing.  She's probably my mom's age, with grown children and several grandchildren.  She checks in on me every so often and can always tell when I'm having a hard time.  She listens.  Plus she is super cheerful and funny.  I just love her.  Last Sunday she asked if my kids could come over and play in her back yard one day.  I agreed, wondering how that was going to work.

The outing was great, even for my big boys.  She had all kinds of games set up in her yard, including a basketball hoop, a jungle gym, and treasures buried in a sand box.  She baked cookies and made lemonade.  She and I sat in lawn chairs and talked while the kids played, and later she joined the boys in a basketball game or two.  It was great.

The one picture I took is a happy reminder of the morning we spent with Nancy, one of my favorite people.

Mr. T goes to the dentist

Apparently our kids hit the genetic lottery when it comes to teeth.  So far we have a child with an undersized and perpendicular tooth, and another with a missing adult tooth, a perpendicular tooth, and not enough room in his little mouth for all those big teeth coming in.  As you know, Zach was fitted with braces last week.  This week, in preparation for a semi-permanent space-maintaining device, our dentist had to pull four of Tyler's teeth. Poor kid!

Here's his pre-pull smile, with all baby teeth intact.  He did lose a bottom tooth just the night before.

Tyler first received a topical anesthetic (the sticks in his mouth), which didn't really work, and then a series of painful shots to numb him up before the procedure.  I didn't prepare him enough for that (in my defense, the staff was misleading about how much he would feel), and he was really hurting. Afterwards, with a total of five large gaps in his mouth, he chewed on some gauze to absorb the blood.  I'll spare you the internal photo Garry took.  It's gross.

Tyler was very, very brave during his appointment and has been mostly pain-free since the initial post-pull wave of pain came and went.  He has some trouble eating and has a slight lisp.  He's anxious for his adult teeth to fill in the gaps of his jack-o-lantern smile.

In other news, Tyler has been a reading maniac this summer. He has finished seven teen fiction novels, with at least one more to go before school starts.  He finished the library's summer reading program last month, but was disappointed to learn that the only t-shirts available are adult mediums, which drown  him.  He is still proud of his accomplishments. I'm so glad he is getting lost in the joy of reading.

Ball Boys

Tyler and Gavin have enjoyed a short season of baseball.  It has been short because they each missed their first practice and game because they were in Frisco, and they'll miss their last practice and game because we will be in Show Low, AZ for a family reunion next week.  That said, some commemorative pictures are in order.

Tyler did a great job on his team.  His fielding and batting improved.  He had some impressive hits and a couple of great plays.  He's a little unsure of himself, but he enjoyed the season and tried his best.

At Tyler's game last week, we spotted a funnel cloud atop Pike's Peak.  Pretty cool...from far away.

This was Gavin's first exposure to baseball.  His interest waxed and waned, depending on how much he was involved in the action.  Practices were very engaging; waiting in right field was not.  Running the bases was fun; sitting on the sidelines was not.

Before his game last week, Gavin ran around the skate park. He could scale the half pipes with no trouble at all.

Gavin loves to practice baseball at home.  He has a great arm! Hopefully the team experience will keep him motivated to play catch and practice the other fundamentals. We're always looking for a way to release that boy's energy!