Bobcat in the family

Last night Zachary earned his first patch as a Cub Scout -- the Bobcat -- at pack meeting. He was so excited! He laughed all the way through the ceremony as I painted marks on his forehead, nose, and cheeks (the green spots mark his dimples). Zach pinned a Bobcat symbol on my shirt, too.


After pack meeting, I took Zach to Baskin Robbins for ice cream. We had a great little date. I asked him a million questions about school and he actually answered them! I'm proud of my little Cub Scout for all the good things he's doing with his life.

Relaxation

How to have a relaxing morning:

• Let the eight-year-old buy lunch at school.
• Send the big boys out the door with a note since they are so late.
• Put on clean pajamas after the morning shower.
• Put away the prepare-house-to-sell list (indefinitely).
• Play the piano while the two-year-old dances and the seven-month-old sits under it.
• Nurse the baby to sleep.
• Find the two-year-old in your bed...and get in with him.
• Watch two episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba and dance at appropriate moments.
• Sing Old MacDonald with 17 verses, then every song that suits the two-year-old's fancy.
• Take a picture of the boy's crazy bedhead.
• Put on jeans at the last possible moment before kindergarten pick-up.
• Go out to lunch with Dad.
• Put babies to bed upon return.
• Contemplate a nap.
  

Perspective

After a few weeks with temperatures hovering between -5 and 20 degrees, Colorado Springs is experiencing a burst of Spring. The snow is melting and the heavy coats are staying in the closet. This reprieve from Winter's icy grip--however short it may be--is so refreshing!

With afternoon highs soaring into the 50s, the boys have been begging to wear shorts. Zachary was determined this morning, even as the outdoor thermostat reported a mere 36 degrees, that he would be too hot and sweaty during recess if he was wearing anything but shorts and sandals. I eyed the perpetual pile of snow on the lawn and the ice in the shadow-prone cul-de-sac and mandated pants and a jacket. Zachary was completely furious with my antiquated ways.

Sure enough, at the end of the school day, Zach bounded to the van with rolled up pants and his jacket in his backpack. His face was red and he was panting. He informed me that girls had been chasing him "all day," which explained his sweaty brow and utter exhaustion. He and Tyler begged for popsicles when they got home -- or maybe ice water to dump on their heads. I vetoed their proposal; they settled on fruit and crackers.


So for the first time in a few months, the boys are playing outside with their friends. They are riding bikes and jumping out of swings and climbing trees, soaking up the "hot" afternoon. These silly boys have no idea what "hot" really is. In six months, when they experience Arizona's triple digits, when the evening temperature is twice what our thermostat records today, maybe then they'll understand what "hot" is.

At least their mean mom will let them wear shorts.

Funny boy, sweet baby

Gavin has this thing with his diapers. It's simultaneously hilarious and annoying.

See the two styles that come in the Kirkland box? Gavin will only wear the style on the left -- the diaper with the little birdie on the front. Only about a third of the 168 diapers in the box have birdies. I'm not sure what will happen when the birdies are gone. I might have to get out a marker and add birdies to those that remain.

Gavin has also become obsessed with Yo Gabba Gabba on TV. I'll admit that I really like this show myself, and not just because Gavin will sit and watch an entire episode while I get ready in the morning. Gavin, aka Mr. Complete Sentences, will ask, "Can I watch Yo Gabba in your bed?" I almost always agree.

In other news, Lexi cut her first tooth this week! Teeth are on the list of slow-to-come developments that haven't worried me a bit. I'm happy about the delay for my own comfort, but I do look forward to the adorable change in her smile. I think her second tooth will arrive shortly.

Lexi has also begun to pull herself up to things. First it was the laundry basket, then a moving box, and last night, her crib rail. Time to move the mattress down!

I'm happy to see her grins in the crib, since last week I introduced the cry-it-out routine at bedtime. Unlike her siblings, Lexi caught on quickly. On the first night she cried for half an hour, but within a few days she hardly fussed at all at bedtime. A few times she has gone to sleep without a peep! The sound machine she got for Christmas might be helping. She sleeps from about 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. with one or two interruptions. We'll work on the night feedings eventually...baby steps to better sleep!

On finding joy

Today was a day that put my one and only 2010 resolution to the test. I was stressed out and emotional and fairly convinced that my meager mothering skills were no match for my two-year-old. I kept thinking, "How am I supposed to find joy in this?"

So I listened to a few Conference talks and some uplifting music...and started looking a little harder for the joy. Eventually I found it!

I found joy in a goofy boy who took great delight in his little sister's car seat. I laughed out loud, actually, and so did he. [Sidebar: notice the orange moving sticker on the side of the carseat. Pretty ironic, eh?]

I found joy in this messy face. It meant that Lexi enjoyed a biter biscuit in the high chair for a good long time -- so long that I had a peaceful shower and getting-ready experience. And her bed head cracks me up.

I found joy by sitting on the floor with my two little ones and attempting a picture. This is the best one we got.

I found joy when Tyler sat down for 20 minutes of reading after school and didn't emerge for an hour. He finished an entire Magic Tree House book in one sitting!

And I found joy when I discovered Zach's open scriptures on his bed. He decided this week that he ought to read from The Book of Mormon every day on his own. He started on Sunday and has read faithfully every night before bed. I am very impressed with this boy!

It's pretty amazing to find such things in the midst of Gavin disasters, baby blow-outs, and moving boxes. I'll keep looking and see what else I can find.

Status updates

This morning the kids and I got out of the house. The walls were closing in; it was time to go! So we spent the morning running errands.

First stop: Advance Auto Parts. The van needed a new battery. In the last couple of months I have been stranded with kids in the school parking lot, my own driveway and garage, and, on Monday, Costco. The free installation took the sting out of the price. Lexi nursed while Frank installed the battery.

Second stop: Goodwill. Six bags, three lollipops, and one donation receipt later, we were outta there.

Third stop: Walmart. Last week Gavin poured my nearly-full gallon of carpet cleaning soap all over the kitchen floor. I need to clean my carpet. Also on the list: rubber gloves, yogurt, spaghetti sauce, and frozen hash browns. I forgot the hash browns.

Fourth stop: Home. I had forgotten my Costco card. Since we were home, I also grabbed a bib.

Fifth stop: Costco. I returned the plastic boxes I purchased the other day (re: broken) and picked up new ones, plus Marie Callender's chicken pot pies and cheese. Then we all ate pizza in the food court and contributed to the gross margin. Gavin was a mess of pizza sauce when he was finished; I was very glad for the bib.

...

After errands, the babies napped and I got to work. I cleaned out the fridge and the oven (baking soda rocks!), washed windows and tracks, and wiped down all of the kitchen cabinets and light fixtures. I wondered if the people who will soon tour our house will appreciate this attention to detail, or if I'm just creating extra work for myself. I sent some emails and talked a lot on the phone.

...

Garry talked to his boss today about keeping his job but transferring to a different office. The news wasn't especially encouraging, and all decisions on that front (as far as the higher-ups are concerned) will be delayed several weeks. Garry has begun to apply for work in other departments and has contacted colleagues in Arizona to aid in his search.

Without the "safety net" of the current job, I'm feeling a little anxious. The one thing we thought would be easy suddenly isn't easy. But the easy road isn't always the right road. God's plan isn't always simple. Fortunately I have lots of menial housework to occupy my hands while my heart and mind sort everything out!

The gory details (This is for you, Rachel)

Since our moving announcement, we've been peppered with questions, so I thought I'd explain why we have answers for none of them.

The reason.

Didn't we just move? Why, yes, yes we did. Two years ago this week I had moving thoughts flitting through my brain, wild and crazy moving thoughts. Then, 18 months ago, when we moved into this house, I only had one thought: NEVER AGAIN. I even said that out loud many times. I guess I should have known I was baking myself a nice dish of crow on which I would later feast.

We are very happy (VERY HAPPY) to be moving closer to family, but besides that and the fact that we feel directed to go, moving doesn't make any sense at all. We have loved every minute of our time in Colorado Springs. We have met fantastic people and had wonderful experiences. We love our home and the city and our ward and the boys' school. But apparently it's time to move on. I have been overwhelmed with spiritual feelings for a couple of weeks now. I'm grateful for the witness that we are doing the right thing, even if we can't see the finish line yet.

The job.

Garry works for Wells Fargo and loves what he does. The hours are great, his 3-mile commute can't be beat, he works for a wonderful boss, and his salary makes our life just the right amount of comfortable. After ten days off for the holidays, Garry is currently slammed at work. His boss is aware that he intends to move. Later this week he will discuss with her what transfer-type options are available. He is applying for new positions within Wells Fargo, and also looking elsewhere for work because that feels right, too. He has considered telecommuting from home once we move and finding a new job in Mesa later, but that option has not been cleared with the boss yet. Wells Fargo does not currently offer relocation assistance to any of its job applicants. This is a major bummer.

The house.

I had this fantasy that we'd be able to sell our house quickly and privately, thus happily avoiding Realtor fees and the big ugly task of showing our house. I'm not sure why I was so fixated on this idea (maybe because it would truly be a miracle in my life). We have pestered all of our house-renting friends but feel that pursuit is over. We are considering listing the house on MLS without an agent (cutting our fees in half), or, if that doesn't turn up the perfect buyer fairly quickly, we'll sign with an agent and do things the traditional way. We intend to list soon -- maybe by next weekend.

Since we bought so recently, and invested in improvements (yard, play structure, paint, flooring, appliances) with a long-term perspective, we are worried about recouping our money. As I said before, this move doesn't really make a lot of sense on paper. But after looking at homes for sale in our neighborhood, we hope ours will be attractive to potential buyers and will fetch a good price. We really love our house and hope it will be a blessing to another family.

The great news is that this is an excellent time to buy a house in Mesa. We are excited about the possibilities there, and my brother is a real estate agent who is sure to find us a sweet deal. (No pressure, Eric!)

The timeline.

The timing of our move depends mostly on The Job and The House. If this house sells quickly, we could be gone by Spring Break. (Ack!) This house has sold three times previously, and its longest stint on the market was 27 days (when we bought: 17). I suppose we need to be prepared for a quick sale. While I would be thrilled to avoid the stress of showings for months on end, I wonder how we would manage in sprint mode.

Part of me thinks it would be lovely to let the boys finish the school year here. Part of me thinks it would be much better to get a month or two of Mesa/Gilbert school in before summer break, partly to aid in friendships, and partly to break us in easy with the Arizona heat!

The bottom line.

At the end of the day, I have a thousand questions and no answers. I have a great deal of stress. I feel overwhelmed. I'm scared. I have vivid memories of how difficult this process can be....we did this very recently! How is everything going to work out? What is in store? Can I really do this?

But when I find myself getting worked up, I try to take a moment and center on the peaceful feelings I have when I think about actually living in Mesa. I know this is the right thing to do. I know the direction to move came from a loving Heavenly Father who has a much better plan than I could ever create for myself. And I know he will provide. I know he will provide.

I just have to trust him, listen to him, and walk in the direction he leads.

Out of the closet

I have some news....but if you and I are Facebook friends, chances are good that you've already heard it.

Garry and I have decided to move to Mesa, Arizona to live near our families. My parents and five siblings live right there in the city, and most of Garry's family will be just six hours away. This move has been a long time coming (although if you talk to my mother, she'd tell you she never expected it would actually happen). I am unbelievably excited that the time is finally right.

However, I have had lots of other thoughts, like:

"Didn't we just move?"

and

"I really love Colorado Springs!"

and

"I will miss so many dear people!"

and

"Is it possible to find another fantastic ward?"

and

"How on earth will I manage selling my house in the midst of my regular life?"

But since I firmly believe that our decision to move came from God, I will just trust that He will provide....in all the right ways.

We had planned to keep our news secret for a while, maybe so we could adjust to the idea, or put off telling the kids, or for some other worthy or noble reason. Mostly we just don't have answers for any of the important questions (job, timeline, house, etc.), so I was hesitant about having the world know about our crazy plans. But we did have discreet conversations with a few house-renting friends about the possibility of buying our house (with the caveat that they please not tell anyone). Somehow our news made it to the ears of our Bishop, who asked Garry to confirm a rumor on Sunday. Garry confirmed, and we told the kids.

With the word being out things suddenly became rather official. I decided to hunker down and start preparing the house to sell. Today I tackled closets. In general I feel good about the level of organization and cleanliness at my house, but the house being functionally acceptable for daily life is entirely different than being presentable for public scrutiny.

I started in Tyler's room. I felt his closet was something I could conquer in a reasonable amount of time, and it had lots of toys available for busy babies underfoot. I hadn't been working 30 seconds when the first surprise hit me in the face: a pair of size 6 poopy underwear, stuck to the wall above the top shelf. Nestled as it was amongst a pile of clothing to be sorted for size and season, I hadn't noticed this particular article for -- how long had it been? -- maybe six months. After the initial shock wore off (and I had disposed of the underwear in the nearest trash receptacle), I resumed my closet-cleaning duties. Before I was finished, I had unearthed no fewer than three pairs of poop-stained underwear from that closet shelf. It was completely horrifying. Suddenly I felt less satisfied with the level of cleanliness and organization at my house.



Later in the afternoon I scooped clothing from the top shelf of my own closet. As I stood on a stool and removed the box labeled "skinny clothes," I noticed two things that I had never seen before: a photograph and a small tape recorder. Are you intrigued? I sure was. I didn't recognize the people in the photo (a dapper Marine and a beautiful blonde in a formal), and the tape recorder wasn't ours. Curious, I pushed the play button.

It took a few minutes to understand what I was hearing, but after a while the setting became clear. I was listening to a woman who had recorded her own phone conversation with her estranged or maybe ex-husband, and they were arguing about the custody of their children! He wanted more time with them, and she wouldn't allow it. I stopped listening to the tape when she described evidence of his extramarital affair. I think the picture and the tape should follow the poopy underwear to the trash can!

I wonder what treasures I will find as I prepare other rooms of my house for showing. I'm pretty sure nothing will beat today's discoveries!

Milestones

In the mother's room at church today, I was chatting with several moms, each of whom had a baby in her lap. Lexi was sitting on the floor at our feet, and one mom commented on how much she had grown and changed just recently. It's true! I'm sure that Lexi will be crawling before long...in spite of my protests.

For almost two months now, Lexi has been a super solid sitter. Now she can pivot while she sits, using her hands to change her position and thus more easily access the toys she wants. She can gracefully move from sitting on her bum to sprawling on her belly. She can roll across the room, rock on her hands and knees, and very nearly right herself when prostrate. (That's my very favorite baby skill!)

The trouble is, I don't really want her to crawl. I can't quite imagine surviving two very mobile, very high-maintenance children at once. I keep Lexi in the jumper, in the Exersaucer, and on her bum as much as possible. I'll admit to limiting her tummy time -- I don't want her to practice! But even I can see that my interference won't prevent the inevitable for too much longer. My little girl wants to move!

Lexi is making progress on other fronts, as well. She recently decided that spoon-type foods are acceptable. We are expanding her diet to include applesauce, bananas, orange and green vegetables, biter biscuits, and fruit puffs. She doesn't care too much for sippy cups, but we're very happy about the progress with the spoon!

This week I introduced a little sleep training. "Crying it out" certainly isn't my favorite thing, but since Lexi abruptly abandoned the pacifier about two weeks ago and rarely falls asleep in my arms or after nursing, I felt it was time for her to learn to sleep on her own. (I usually fall victim to sleep-deprived insanity around eight months, so we're right on schedule!) Lexi has been the least resistant of all our kids to this training method, so I am pleased. Perhaps a full night of sleep is on the horizon. I'm ready!

Resolution: One

I love a new year. The fresh start, the clean slate, the new beginning -- it's like a giant reset button I can only press once a year. So I'm taking a deep breath, clearing my head, and opening my eyes to a world of new possibilities.

In general, I love resolutions. I'm a goal-oriented girl. I love lists and checking things off. But in this season of my life, lists tend to overwhelm and intimidate me. I tend to avoid making them so I am [theoretically] less aware of all that is not getting done. At the beginning of a new year, however, I have to have resolutions! I have to set goals! I have to make a list!

This year I have one resolution, and only one. It encompasses my effort to simplify, and yet to expand. It will be easy to remember and yet have lasting, far-reaching impact. If I can achieve it, it will enrich my life and improve my family.

I am resolved to FIND JOY.

I want to find joy in big things and in little things. I want to find joy in my days and hours and moments, as well as the months and the years. I want to find joy in the routine tasks of life, joy in my children, joy in my chosen career of motherhood.

I'm sure it won't always be easy. Perhaps it will always be hard. But I plan to study and research and pray and ponder over this subject of joy. By golly, I'm going to learn all I can about it....and find it.

I'm sure I'll keep you posted!