The Happiness Project: February

I'm a little slow getting my February goals in gear, but better late than never, right?  This month's resolutions are well-timed.  As I am struggling to keep my chin above water, my family relationships are suffering.  It's a good time for Mommy boot camp.

This month's theme is "Connect with kids."  I chose a Louise Hay quote as a sub-theme: "I allow the playful child within me to emerge and have fun."  Yes, I'm a weirdo; having fun does not come naturally to me.  I'm also not the Mom who loves working puzzles and doing crafts and playing Chutes and Ladders.  This month I will work on that, especially with my preschoolers.

My kid-focused goals include: read out loud daily; play on the floor; cultivate a soothing, happy voice; pray for each child individually; praise success; make time for one-on-one.  Hopefully as these new habits become ingrained, we will all be happier!

Public pajama day

Remember when Gavin was two, and I shared every one of his nefarious deeds in rich detail?  Now we have another two-year-old in the house, and while her escapades don't always rival those of her brother, she is plenty mischievous.  What she lacks in life-threatening action she makes up for in sass and drama.  Lexi is SUCH a two-year-old right now.  Most days I'm just too tired to re-live her antics in print.  Now, during a 4:30 bout of insomnia, I feel compelled to record one episode.

Miss Lexi was mad at me (nearly a perpetual state these days) for not giving her enough attention during Kate's morning nap.  It was true.  I was racing the clock to finish my blog book before the January 31 coupon deadline.  The usual activities that engage her interest weren't working.  We tried play dough, water color painting, dolls, snacks, and a TV show.  She sat in my lap.  She played with my hair.  She took off my shoes.  Finally, after more than an hour of poking my face and the computer keys, she agreed to watch one TV show so I could finish up.  

Within a few minutes, I was done and she was bored with TV.  She wanted me to fix her hair, and I readily agreed.  I asked her to fetch the rubber bands and spray bottle from my bathroom.  That's when I discovered that she had locked my bedroom door.  Lexi just shrugged her shoulders and walked away.  I tried to find a key.

The bedroom door knobs have locking buttons that turn, rather than those that pop in and out.  Unlocking them requires a small tool about three inches long with a flat end.  When we moved in 3 1/2 years ago, only one existed in the house.  Of course that disappeared long ago.  We have resorted to using tiny flat-head screwdrivers to unlock doors.  On this day, every screwdriver of that nature was missing.  I tried half a dozen different implements to unlock the door.  No luck.

Being denied access to my bedroom posed one significant problem for me: clothing.  I had run on the treadmill that morning and taken a shower.  I had fixed my hair and applied make-up, but I had only gotten half-way dressed.  I put on a regular shirt (dark orange), but instead of putting on jeans for going out, I wore turquoise-and-purple plaid pajama pants.  Yes, I know the colors clash.  But it was laundry day, and my more subdued pajamas were in the wash.  And I wasn't going anywhere.  Jeans are for going out ONLY.  So I laid them on my bed, where I could easily put them on before preschool pick-up.

Well, the morning passed and I still couldn't find a key.  I was also managing lots of other things--phone calls, a friend in distress, a fussy baby, Lexi's perpetual tantrums and clothing changes, housework, etc.--and, my memory being what it is, I forgot about the door for a while.  Quite suddenly it was 11:10, and I was still locked out of my bedroom and wearing a ridiculous outfit.  I didn't have a choice, so I went to pick up Gavin.

I wore a coat, so the general public probably thought I just didn't bother getting out of my pajamas this morning.  I'm not on a first-name basis with anyone at the school, so I just walked in and out of there like nothing was wrong.  Of course, Lexi was screaming the entire time about some injustice in her life, so hopefully fellow parents and their children were distracted enough by the spectacle to ignore my attire.

During the girls' afternoon nap, I had to leave again.  I hired a babysitter (to whom I explained my outfit) so I could take a friend to the doctor.  Happily, this time I didn't have to leave the van; my obligation was to provide a ride only.  My friend chuckled at my predicament.  I decided to email the Relief Society with my story to see if anyone had a key that would work in my door.  As the day dragged on, I began to worry I wouldn't be able to sleep in my bed that night without breaking a window.  Someone offered a key, which I picked up after school.  It worked, and I put on my jeans...just in case.

It wasn't until about 7:30 p.m. that I discovered the reason Lexi locked my bedroom door. When I began preparing for bed (yes, at that hour; it had been SUCH a day), I found a thick layer of granola bar crumbs all over my sheets and pillow.  Apparently Lexi had raided the pantry for a snack before settling down for a TV show.  Knowing she would get in trouble for eating in my bed, she locked up the evidence of her crimes.

It's a good thing she was asleep when I discovered the mess. Maybe to get revenge I'll lock myself in my bedroom tomorrow.

Eight loads

This is a hazy picture of my clean laundry pile, but I think it's an accurate representation of my perspective. Brain fog, anyone?

Garry has some 2011 PTO that he has to use before March 15, so he is spending a few random days at home.  Monday was one of those days, and I took advantage by spending the day in the office, editing my blog books for publication.  Monday was also the fifth day since my last round of laundry, so I kept the washer and dryer busy all day, too.  I had a big deadline for the blog books (a 20% off coupon that expired Tuesday), so I didn't take the time to fold the laundry.  Instead, I piled it on the couch, hoping magic fairies would attend to it while I worked.  They didn't.

So yesterday, which was particularly high-strung and frenetic, I tackled the massive, towering heap during the girls' nap time.  Aside from the socks, I managed to get through the whole pile in 45 minutes.  After dinner the family pitched in (under duress) and put away every bit of it.

And so ends another post about laundry.

January goals revisited

January is almost over.  Even though it's been a very long month at my house, I still shake my head in disbelief when I look at the calendar.  Time marches on!

I am very glad I set health-related goals for January.  Making better choices about diet and exercise has been a good way to kick-start the year.  Doing a separate fitness challenge was probably a mistake, because I feel lots more pressure than I would if I was relying on my internal motivation alone.  It's too much; I might bow out of that.  Live and learn!

Through this process, I have learned and/or remembered a few things about myself.

First, I am an "abstainer" rather than a "moderator."  It is SO much easier for me to cut dessert out completely than to eat it occasionally, or to have no ice cream at all than just a small serving.  On the flip side, exercising every single day (except Sunday, which I always take off) is lots easier than three days a week.  I'm an all-or-nothing girl.

Second, fruits and vegetables taste yummy and are very satisfying.  I love apples.

Third, I am rarely hungry.  If I only eat when I'm actually hungry, I don't eat nearly as often as I habitually wander into the kitchen.  And I'm not always hungry at traditional mealtimes, which is complicated, since I live with and am responsible to feed six other people.

Fourth, I am a very emotional eater.  The last two weeks have been really rough, and I'm sorry to say I abandoned my goals for a while in favor of old habits.  My empty resolution chart has haunted me, which hasn't helped my mood!  I keep telling myself that tomorrow is a new day...

Fifth, exercise makes me happy.  Endorphins coupled with the uplifting material I'm reading in the Ensign magazine (during my walking periods) can boost my mood significantly.  When I'm walking/jogging, good things click into place mentally and I feel empowered to do better in many areas of my life.  

So now, at the end of January, as I take account of my efforts to change, I think that overall it has been a successful month.  I'm glad I will continue with my health-related goals throughout the year.  It will take a long time to extinguish bad habits and solidify the good.  Because of my persistent ill health and imbalanced hormones, I haven't lost a single pound, my clothes feel exactly the same, and I haven't been able to change how I feel, but I don't think my January goals were a waste.  Onward and upward!

To sleep or to learn?

Gavin is giving up on naps.  *sigh*

I know I have been totally spoiled with a child who has napped for four solid years, but I still grieve the loss.  Since I take a nap nearly every day, Gavin's new life plan will require a significant adjustment for me.  That said, Gavin and I have had some sweet one-on-one time while his sisters have napped this week.

One day we read books in my bed.  We took turns; I read a page, and then he read a page. Gavin was delighted with the quick progress we made through his BOB books.  Then he wanted to write letters on the whiteboard.  We started with words from his books.

Gavin has also decided he wants piano lessons.  I think he's pretty young for all of that, but while he is interested, we will pursue it!  Right now he is learning about the groupings of black keys and the numbers assigned to each of his fingers.

Earlier this month Gavin formally applied to our school district's Early Access program for kindergarten.  We had to create a portfolio of Gavin's abilities in several categories, plus write a letter and have his preschool teacher write a letter endorsing the decision.  We are hopeful that Gavin will be able to start kindergarten in the fall, which would be a year ahead of schedule, and that he will be able to attend the same school as Zach and Tyler. We won't likely have the district's decision for a month or two.  If it doesn't work out, that must mean that God has something better in store for our amazing little boy....and his mama, who is really missing her naps.

My brain just thinks in letters now

Dear Fitness Challenge 2012,

You were a really good idea and super motivating until the Dark Days of last week (aka Wednesday through Saturday).  I have lost all motivation for drinking water, eating vegetables, and avoiding sugar.  And guess what?  I weigh exactly the same today as I did on January 1.  Hmph.

The fat lady who's ready to sing

*

Dear St. Patrick's Day 5K,

I was all stoked to run in your race, and had even convinced Garry to join me, but then I found out that Sheri Dew is speaking to the women of our stake at exactly the same time, so you lose.

Sorry.   But not.

Heidi

*

Dear Hannah,

Remember last week, when I called the office where you work and the receptionist pulled you out of a meeting when I told her you hadn't called me back for eight days?  You told me that you had faxed a referral and my medical records to two different endocrinologists that morning.  I'm a sucker and believed you.  Well, the doc I want to see still doesn't have my paperwork, which means I still don't have an appointment, and I've lost another week waiting for nothing.  I promise your sense of urgency would skyrocket if you had my symptoms for 24 hours.

You said you'd fax my info again right away, but since the office manager at the new place didn't call me back today, I'm guessing that didn't happen.

Shall I visit your office tomorrow and stand over you with a pitch fork?

A disgruntled patient

*

Dear Echo,

You have an interesting name.  I hope that one of these days I can see your name tag in person so I can properly thank you for repeatedly looking for my patient information in your system, when in fact it has not been there.  I pray daily that your endocrinology office is more efficient and accommodating than that of my dear OB/GYN.

Sincerely,

The squeaky wheel

*

Dear Summer the PA,

Just for the record, I can't remember the last time I suspected my child had an ear infection, hauled that child to the doctor, and was proven wrong.  I'm glad for Kate to be spared pain in her ears, but couldn't help but be embarrassed that I took my fifth child in for a chest cold.

The embarrassment could also have stemmed from the shocking behavior exhibited by children three and four, but in their defense (and mine), it was nap time, and none of us had slept the night before.  Maybe next time we'll shoot for sunshine and roses when we visit.

Shamefully,

A humbled mama

*

Dear Mrs. Reynolds,

You are one awesome TAG coordinator.  I love that you love my kids.  I love that you bend over backwards to accommodate them.  I love that you are rooting for Gavin to start kindergarten this fall.  I love that you and the district TAG lady discuss my kids all the time.  I think you're a big reason we didn't move to Arizona.  On days when I'm mad that the relocation didn't work out, thinking of you makes me smile.

Thanks for the call today,

Zach and Ty's mom

*

Dear ARC,

Thanks for picking up my pile of junk today.  I love it when you call while I'm in the midst of a purging/de-cluttering project.  I don't have to haul stuff to Goodwill OR feel guilty about not supporting a charity solicitation.  Win-win.  I have to say, though, that I was a little sad to part with the ratty denim comforters.  Even though the boys have much nicer bed coverings these days, you hauled away a piece of my history today.  But I won't miss the 15-year-old measuring cups.

The donation lady

*

Dear ward friends,

For some reason I agreed to be in charge of games at the upcoming "high school reunion" adult party.  I'm sure you're tired of me asking you to submit completed surveys about your high school experiences. Even though entering your answers into a spreadsheet is getting a little tedious, it's pretty fun to learn about your glory days.  And the Family Feud game will be awesome.  Just thinking about how awkward I was in high school makes my toes curl, but I am planning to wear my letter jacket to the party.  (Mesa Rabbits!  We are number one!)

Heidi Dixon, class of '96

*

Dear neighbor to the right,

You could not have surprised me more when you knocked on the door the other day and announced that you were ready to pay for your portion of the fence we built last May.  Are you a tithing blessing?

Gratefully,

Your neighbor to the left

*

Dear book club,

I'm so glad you chose to read The Count of Monte Cristo this month.  As much as I enjoyed the book (which is fiction!  I know!), the fact that Garry is listening to the audio version is even better.  Having Something In Common with my husband is quite revolutionary...and lovely!  Gretchen Rubin says couples should have one indoor activity and one outdoor activity that they like to do together.  I might die of happiness knowing that we've finally found one of the two!

Would it be too much to ask for you to figure out the other?

Love,

One happy wife

The free bed

On Friday afternoon a friend posted on our Relief Society Yahoo group that she was giving away a queen mattress set, frame, and headboard.  I responded immediately, thinking that surely a bigger bed would be a blessing in our household.  Within five minutes of posting the offer, my friend agreed to hold the bed for me.

[Sidebar: I find it amusing that when we were newlyweds and Garry had a lucrative job, everything we owned was new.  We didn't acquire our first piece of hand-me-down furniture until three years ago. Now we have a couch, a dresser, a desk, a bookshelf, a kid table and chairs, and a bed from generous benefactors.]

After Garry got home I pitched the bed idea to him.  The kids overheard, which kick-started a lively discussion about who would get the big bed and where it would go.  After a lengthy debate we settled on a plan.  Zachary, who has had his own room for over two years, would move in with Tyler again and share the bunk beds.  Gavin would move to Zach's old room and use the queen bed alone.  Garry picked up the bed that evening, and despite a very busy Saturday morning ahead, we decided to attack the room swap project the next afternoon.

I took some "before" pictures of the boys' messy rooms.  First, Zachary's:

And then the room Tyler and Gavin shared:

 

The room swap project spawned a few side projects.  When Garry took the seats out of the van to transport the mattress, he ended up vacuuming the van, which was shockingly dirty.  Moving furniture led to de-junking projects.  (I was secretly thrilled about this.)  As we moved clothing to new dressers and closets, we thinned and organized those things as well.  We filled two big trash bags with junk to toss, plus two laundry baskets with stuff to donate, sell, or put away for later.  Dealing with that will be my project on Monday.

By about 7:30 p.m., both bedrooms were clean, organized, and vacuumed.  Zachary, who was initially upset about giving up his private room, was happy with his new space.  Tyler was glad to be sharing a room with someone who will respect his belongings and share his interests.  Gavin was thrilled with his big bed and blue walls.  He has also started to rediscover some of his toys!  

Here are the "after" pictures.  Gavin's bedroom:  We don't have immediate plans to buy cute bedding for the queen bed (although we did spring for a mattress pad and a bed skirt, and will need to buy a padlock for the crawl space entrance above his bed).  Gavin picked his favorite of our "wedding quilts" to put on the bed and we called it good.  His walls are completely bare, except for the name letters he wrecked last year.  I'd like for the room to be more decorated, but he's content, so I am (trying to be) too. 

Tyler and Zach's room:  For bed spreads, the boys are using the awesome quilts Aunt Heidi made them for Christmas.  After I took these pictures, we moved a little table into the room, where Tyler can work on his Legos in peace.

In a couple of years, when the girls are ready for bigger beds, we will move them downstairs to share Gavin's room (and maybe the big bed), and move Gavin upstairs to one of the smaller bedrooms.  Maybe by then I'll be sleeping through the night and such an undertaking won't be so overwhelming!

Tyler at school

I found these gems in Tyler's backpack this week and thought they were worth sharing.

I love Tyler's art.  Any kind.  Anywhere.  I think this turkey looks pretty happy.  I wonder where he was going.

This story cracks me up.  Tyler is so creative!  A transcription is below the picture.

The Trimpsterator

The Trimpsterator is a deadly, cute little devil.  It lives everywhere on land and in water, but not in swamps. It may look cute at first, but it can change its head from hampster to alligator within a second.  It has 3 toes and legs and eyes like a triceratops, eyes for protection, and toes and legs for a fast getaway.  The monster-like trimpsterator has a body like a hampster and a head like a gator (most of the time).  The trimpsterator eats anything that is available for its meal!  Watch out!

Because we have children

The other afternoon, I walked into my bedroom.  I planned to take a nap, but Stanley was in my spot.

Gavin and Lexi love playing "sleepover."  They drag pillows and blankets all over the house and make beds for themselves.  Their favorite resting spots are the treadmill and the stairs.

At our house, all the kids brush their teeth in Mom and Dad's bathroom.  This routine developed when we bought an electric toothbrush.  It has four heads, so Mom, Dad, Zach, and Tyler all use it.  We have four kinds of toothpaste and six toothbrushes in the same drawer, which, ironically, resides in the smallest bathroom in the house.  It is tiny but gets LOTS of traffic.  Zach recently decided he likes the taste of my toothpaste.  I don't mind sharing, but Zach can't ever remember to replace the cap on the toothpaste, and it drives me nuts.  When this tube runs out, I'm labeling the new one "MOM ONLY."

The kids love goldfish crackers.  I hate them.

The end.

Five months!

Dearest, darlingest Kate,

Oh, how time has flown since you joined our family!  We just can't imagine life without you--and you are truly a joy in our household.

One of the new things in your life this month was the big bathtub.  You were a little tentative at first, all alone in the big sea of water, but now you love to kick and wiggle. Lexi loves to join you.  Bath time is a very happy time.

You have been sleeping in Lexi's room since the end of November, but a recent furniture move put your crib and Lexi's little bed on one wall.  One of her favorite things is climbing in bed with you when you wake up.  Gavin does this, too.  They are anxious to babysit, apparently.  They love to make you smile, and you love the company.

You are a hungry girl and drink 6 ounces of formula about every three hours.  The significant uptick in your feeding demands has helped you really fill out this month.  You weigh 15.8 pounds now, which is in the 68th percentile.  Your height, 23.5 inches, is just in the 6th percentile.


We love your darling rolls!  You wiggle and arch your back while you drink your bottle.  You are so interested in the world around you!

You don't enjoy eating rice cereal.  It's time to try oatmeal, but your general lack of enthusiasm isn't very motivating!  You do like holding spoons, though.

Your hair is getting a little longer, and the hair growing in over your bald spot is very blonde.  You and I are both growing white hairs these days!  People say you are becoming more like Gavin, and I have to agree.  I'm sure you'll have your own look eventually, but everyone comments on how you "got the Bartle stamp."  You belong to us!

Your nighttime sleep habits were taking a turn for the better around Christmastime, but have since regressed into two or three night wakings per night.  How can we help you learn that there's plenty of time for snuggles during the day?

You have discovered your voice and delight in loud shrieking.  Sometimes we can't tell if you are happily talking or bordering on terror.  Either way, you are highly entertaining. You have learned to blow raspberries with your lips and tongue.  This endlessly pleases your rowdy brothers, who like to mimic the noise you make...and the spit you produce.

You spend lots of time batting at toys hanging above you.  You don't grab toys much yet, but do hold onto toys I give you--and you put everything in your mouth.  You are learning (finally) to enjoy the swing.  It is ten years old and doesn't work especially well, but it comes in handy during piano lessons and dinner preparation.  The doorway jumper is another venue for your entertainment.  We think you quite enjoy an upright view of the world.  This is another place that Gavin and Lexi find highly amusing.  They can't wait for you to start jumping up and down.

You celebrated your first Christmas and your first New Year this month.  This time last year, I wasn't sure we would survive until your birth.  But we did!  We are so, so glad that you are here.  We love you, Katelyn Joy!