Classified Ads

WANTED

 TEMPORARY MOTHER

Qualifications:

Must be kind, temperate, patient, infinitely energetic

Drivers license required

FBI negotiation skills and/or advanced degree in child psychology desirable

Proven track record with ornery two-year-olds mandatory

May not exhibit fatigue, menopause, or flu-like symptoms (ever)

Job description:

Manage household with five children, including...

Cooking, cleaning, giving piano lessons, changing diapers

Managing schedules and transportation

Soothing, rocking, consoling, and encouraging children

Helping with homework and cub scouts

Daily laundry, dishes, ironing, shopping

Responsible for teaching manners, building character, and growing testimonies

Pay:

No financial compensation

Healthcare benefits provided

Duration of employment:

Six months

Current mother checked into the loony bin with books and some chocolate

Notes for later

I have several partially-composed blog posts rolling around in my head, but right now my limited free time is occupied with this:

I'm not usually one to read much fiction (confession: I don't like being swept away), but in an effort to broaden my literary horizons, I decided to try this hefty classic.  And I love it.

Right now, I'm dying to know whether Valentine and Maximillian will end up together; if Mercedes ever discovers Edmond in disguise; what sinister role Benedetto is going to play; and how Monte Cristo finally exacts his revenge upon his enemies.  

Despite the fact that my reading opportunities are few and far between, I'm hoping to finish up the last 325 pages before book club meets on Thursday.  Maybe when I complete the novel, I'll catch up my blog friends on:

*blonde hairs and white hairs

*customer [dis]satisfaction

*kindergarten portfolios

*many layers of clothing

*sorbet

*one pound

*and maybe some other stuff

See you on the flip side!

Letters

Dear Kate,

How did you like the big bathtub?  Pretty fun, eh?  Even though your expression showed complete indifference, I'm hoping you liked the switch.  You were way too big for that sink tub.

Love,

Mama

*

Dear Kathleen,

Thanks a ton for the fabulous cinnamon rolls.  I'm sorry that my diet prevented me from tasting them, but I savored the smell and the children said they were delicious.  The dress you brought for Kate is darling, too, and I hope that one of these days I'll find the time to dive into that awesome parenting book.  I'm glad we're friends!  It's nice to know you've done what I'm doing...and that you survived.

Love,

Heidi

*

Dear Tyler, Zach, and Garry,

I emptied my camera's memory card and you weren't in any of the pictures.  Sorry about that.

Sheepishly,

The household photographer

*

Dear Lexi,

You are two.  And you are CONTRARY.  Today you asked what day it was and when I told you it was Wednesday, you screamed that you didn't want it to be Wednesday.  Sorry, Sis, but I can't change the calendar.  If I could, I would change the day to Sunday, just as you wished, so that someone else could deal with you for two hours in nursery class.  And I would sneak home and take a nap.

Love (or trying to),

Mommy

*

Dear Melinda,

Thank you for trying to help balance my crazy hormones for the last couple of months.  I think I'm ready for a second opinion.  If you could just call me back, I'd like referral to an endocrinologist, please.

Thanks much,

Out-of-whack

*

Dear owl-patterned shower curtain,

I love you.  Thanks for making me smile when I walk past the newly-dubbed "girls' bathroom."

Happily,

Your decorator

*

Dear January,

Yesterday it was 60 degrees in the afternoon, and my delighted children (plus the three extras in my charge) happily jumped on the trampoline without jackets.  Today it is 20 degrees, windy, and snowy.  Can you please make up your mind?  It's easier to get the boys to wear coats when it is consistently cold.

Much obliged,

The mean mom

*

Dear Laundry,

I cannot believe you were off my radar for so long.  How did I forget that you needed to be done?  That error probably originated in the same part of my brain that remembers where the car keys are, or what time I fed the baby, or when I changed the baby, or where I put the baby.  That part of my brain is broken.  But there's nothing like the reality check of running out of underwear and having to go to preschool in pajama pants because nothing is clean.

Sincerely,

Exasperated

*

Dear Memorial Health System,

Kate was born in AUGUST.  Can you stop sending us bills for her birth already?

Yours truly,

Broke

*

Dear House,

I'm sorry that you are so darn messy all the time.  I blame the kids.  If I clean you up real nice and don't complain, will my fairy godmother show up with a golden carriage to whisk me away?

Your servant,

Cinderella

runningfan reborn

When I started this blog back in 2008, I had to create a profile with Google.  At the time, I was training for the Hippie Chick half-marathon and generally considered myself a runner, so I picked the moniker "runningfan."  It's been four years since that day, and during that time I have rarely felt like a runner.  I haven't been lean-and-mean since high school, but my state of fitness has gradually declined through my child-bearing years.  "Tragic" is the only way to describe my physical status at present.

But I am trying to change that.  Once again, I am trying...and it feels fantastic.  This morning on the treadmill I got in touch with a part of myself that I haven't known for a very long time.  I felt like my goals were attainable and that I don't have to be bogged down by poor health forever.  I imagined taking long runs again, training for races, and having the energy to balance my many responsibilities.  Even though my treadmill stats today aren't very newsworthy, I am thrilled with them.

Two miles down, a million to go.  One step at a time.

Seriously?

Lots of silly and/or wacky things happen around here.  I thought I'd catalog just a few from this week:

I found Gavin and Lexi running on the treadmill.  Both of them.  At the same time.  Fast.

When I put an end to their fun, Gavin protested:  "But Mom!  I need my exercise!"

*

Just before dinner, Tyler looked around the kitchen, living room, and dining room.  He made a confused face and said, "Did you clean up this house or something?"

(Instead of being offended, I was glad that someone noticed my efforts!)

*

Lexi and Gavin got into Tyler's tub of Flarp (farting putty...it's as ridiculous as it sounds), and Lexi apparently wanted to get up close and personal with it.  She came upstairs with a huge wad in her hair.

I spent the next half hour picking it out, strand by strand.  Then I washed her hair thoroughly in the bathtub and combed out the rest.  Although Lexi lost a few hairs, I didn't have to cut out the Flarp.  Disaster averted.

*

I stepped on the scale today after a full week of my new diet and exercise regimen.  I have really reduced my caloric intake and had a 20-30-minute date with the treadmill every day.  My reward?  A three-pound weight GAIN.

I love my life.

Growing up

I don't know much, but this I do know: Time marches on, and kids grow up.

Last week Garry and I took the kids to Target to spend gift cards they got for Christmas.  They had a great time choosing the perfect things.  Zach also had some birthday money to spend (he'd been saving it for a trampoline), and after briefly perusing the toy aisles, he gravitated towards the clothing section.  Since the other kids were getting pretty wily at this point, I offered to take Zach on a special shopping trip just for clothes.  He readily agreed to this plan.

I was not emotionally prepared for this shopping trip, a fact I did not appreciate until we were standing in the men's department at Kohl's.  For the first time ever, Zach was footing the bill, and he had definite opinions about what he wanted to buy.  I was just the chauffeur for his expedition.  I quickly learned that my opinion doesn't count anymore, and being silent is the best course of action.  (Because if I like it, then he won't.)  Zach still had to abide by the household rules (no skulls, no blood, nothing violent or offensive, etc.), but he still didn't really choose things I would have chosen.  Despite his desperate need for pants, he refused to buy pants.  And so on and so forth.

That's not to say that Zach was unpleasant.  Quite the contrary!  He was a lively and talkative shopping companion.  Our relationship is just shifting, and while I am pleased with the young man Zach is becoming, his desire to grow up outpaces my desire to let go.

Gavin is making great strides of his own.  He has been showing an interest in reading, and yet he doesn't enjoy formal reading lessons like I gave his older brothers.  I decided to check out a series of books from the library to see if those might capture his interest, and they did!  While sitting on the couch in the children's section of the library, Gavin read a book all by himself for the very first time.  It melted my little mama heart.  Another reader is born.

 
Miss Kate is growing like a weed--a smooshy, chunky weed.  Oh, how I love her rolls!  (I'm also loving the freedom of formula feeding, but that's another story!)  Kate is starting to move, too.  She arches her back and cranes her neck and shifts her hips...certainly the precursors to rolling.  She's showing more interest in toys, chews on her fists all the time, and gives the most heart-warming dimpled grins you ever did see.

Kate is also quite the vocal performer.  She is loud!!  We play fun "talking" games with her, and even though most of her "words" sound the same, she is clearly trying to communicate.  We love it.  And we'd better, because in two or three blinks Kate will be the one with opinions about her clothes.

I'm quite certain I'm not ready for THAT.

Ray of sunshine

I've had a few rough days in a row, and this morning I woke up feeling kind of desperate. My morning prayer included a plea for help--any kind of help!  The day that unfolded was a certain witness that a loving Heavenly Father knows my name.  Although my problems haven't disappeared, I have renewed hope, and also gratitude for the Lord's tender mercies.

Tyler had the chance to play with his friend Owen this morning--at Owen's house.  He was beyond thrilled at the opportunity.  Zach called to see if his buddy, Trace, could come over while Tyler was gone.  Instead, Trace's mom invited Zach to spend the day with them, first playing at home, then eating lunch and going to a movie.  Suddenly both boys had super fun plans away from home!  That solved the problem of getting through the last day of winter break.

With Zach and Tyler happily occupied, the Littles and I could more easily accomplish some errands that have been on my list.  At Target we picked up a new shower curtain and rugs for the hall bathroom (Thanks, Grandma Dent!) that I'm really excited about.  Then we met Garry for lunch at Chick fil-A.  Gavin and Lexi were thrilled to romp around the play land, I was glad to see my husband in the middle of the day, and my salad hit the spot.  Kate was a gem.  It was a lovely outing.

We stopped at the library next.  Sharing a happy experience with Gavin (at the public library, no less!) was a boon for our relationship.

The next miracle happened at the pharmacy.  After talking to my doctor again yesterday, we decided I would try a new medication.  When I went to pick it up the first time, it had been processed with Kaiser insurance, but our Kaiser coverage ended December 31.  I couldn't find my new insurance card, so I had to return later.  When I went back for the medicine today, the pharmacist remembered me.  She knew my history and the crazy cocktail of drugs I'm using to try to regulate my system.  To make a long and complicated story short, she was able to fill an old prescription that Kaiser wouldn't cover, but that my current insurance DOES cover, and a month of meds only cost $9.11.  The potential cost of my prescriptions on our new insurance has weighed heavily on my mind.  I can't express my relief and elation at today's good news at the pharmacy!

When Tyler came home, he immediately ran off to play with a neighbor friend.  Then the planets aligned and the Littles all napped at the same time.  I got to rest, too.

The family enjoyed amusing and interesting dinner conversation thanks to our Table Topics cards (Thanks, Holly!), and even though dinner included the usual messes, tears, and general mayhem, I was able to laugh about it.  Now that the kids are all in bed I don't have the nearly-dead feeling that usually possesses me around 4:00 p.m.  I feel light and happy and energetic.  It's pretty amazing.

I'm very grateful for the ray of sunshine that permeated the clouds over my head today. Very, very grateful.  God is good!

Amusing anecdotes

Our family has had a pretty low-key week, although we have tried to fit in some fun things for the kids before they return to school (tomorrow!).  Happily, we have crossed almost everything off of our bucket list.

Gavin received a "gigaball" from Grandma and Grandpa Bartle for Christmas.  On Monday (which Garry had off, as it was a federal holiday!) Garry spent about an hour pumping it up, and then he took the Littles to the park across the street to roll around in it.  I tagged along to take pictures, and I'm glad I did!  Hearing the kids' giggles as they spun 'round and 'round was so much fun!

The kids slept in a tent in the basement last night.  Well...some of the kids did.  Gavin and Lexi just couldn't calm down and go to sleep, even though I stayed in the tent for a long time to try and soothe them.  They were so excited!  So Zach and Tyler spent the night in the tent, and Gavin and Lexi have enjoyed "playing sleepover" inside during the day.

Garry received a new ice cream maker for Christmas and has enjoyed experimenting with different recipes since then.  The mint chocolate Oreo ice cream was utterly delectable, but we have enjoyed the lower-fat sorbets as well.  On this night Garry poured V8 100% juice in the ice cream maker and this is what we got!  It was delicious, and though high in sugar, offered one serving of fruits and one serving of vegetables!  It was the perfect Family Home Evening treat, and given the nutritive value, I indulged in some myself.

 

Also on the treat theme, the kids devoured their gingerbread house one night.  It was quite a scene!  As everyone scrambled for sugar, Gavin yelled, "Someone get the camera!"  I was happy to oblige with my cell phone.

One night I made something for dinner that spilled over in the oven and burned on the bottom.  I forgot to take care of the mess, and then baked breakfast a couple of days later.  The crusty stuff on the bottom of the oven burned and smoked and stunk up the house at 8 a.m.  Zach was so bothered that he taped his nose closed.  Hilarious!

The trampoline has been a big hit, as you might imagine.  It is a gathering place for the neighbor kids as well as our own.  In fact, our kids like to start jumping before breakfast, even though it has been pretty cold!  They just bundle up and head on out.  On this day Lexi did a reverse bundle, stripping down to her diaper in the mid-30's weather.  When I looked out the window to check on the kids, this is what I saw!  I quickly took some warm clothes out to her.

I have been reluctant to get out of bed in the mornings, so children frequently join me until I can't ignore them anymore.  It's actually pretty charming to cuddle with these cuties at the beginning of a day.

Cuddle time isn't restricted to the wee hours, either.  Today Kate woke up from her nap just as I intended to lie down.  So I took her with me to the couch.  Just as we were drifting off, Gavin woke up prematurely from his nap.  I think he just planned to give me a hug, but he ended up lying on top of me and falling asleep.  I wasn't super comfortable, but he obviously was!  The three of us rested for another half hour until Lexi woke up.  There wasn't room for her to join us.

We have been reading a lot.  Although I don't think we'll make my goal of reading every picture book in the house during the school break, we have read a huge chunk of them with lots of repeats.  Lexi enjoys looking at books before she takes a nap.  Seeing a child of mine asleep under a book is one of my favorite things.

Winter break didn't seem especially long and tiresome until this week.  I'm not sure how the kids feel, but I'm definitely ready for the return of our schedule, routine, and school-time activities!

The sun will come out...tomorrow

Today is gone.  Today is done.  Tomorrow is another one.

{Dr. Seuss}

Thank goodness.

The Happiness Project

Happy New Year!

For people who know me well, it's probably not a huge surprise that I'm thrilled to start a new year.  Aside from the fact that 2011 was a very challenging year for my family and me, I've been longing for a fresh start.  The new year seems like the perfect time to work harder, aim higher, and do better.

Last fall I read a fun and inspiring book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  The author spent a year setting goals and trying new things in order to boost her personal happiness.  While I consider myself a reasonably happy person (and certainly I have many blessings that ought to inspire gratitude), I think that adopting a similar strategy could bless my life.  Gretchen's organized, thoughtful approach to goal-setting really appeals to my Type-A brain, so I'm going to give it a whirl.

During each month of 2012 I'll have a specific set of goals related to a theme in my life.  I haven't defined all of the details yet, but that will come in time.  My January theme is Improve Health.  This might seem pretty prosaic, but for the girl who has spent a year in state of poor health, it's a desperately needed resolution!  My current medication cocktail, which is intended to balance my hormones, mood, and energy, isn't yielding terrific results yet.  I am hoping that some efforts of my own might aid the cause.

My resolutions for the month include daily exercise (20 minutes to start), eliminating sweets and bedtime snacking, and eating 5 fruits and vegetables a day.  Sadly, these goals will require a significant change to my daily routine (dare I admit?), but hopefully after a month I'll have some solid habits that will pave the way to better health.  I definitely have some weight loss goals in mind, but the higher purpose is simply feeling better!  I'm ready to move beyond survival mode.

In February I will set new goals but still maintain my January efforts.  The project adds new resolutions each month, which should keep my momentum going throughout the year!  I'm really looking forward to this year of change and growth.